Life is crazy in a bottle!

So, you think that things are going perfect for you, but the whole world seems to get involved in your life at that moment. It's like the one second things start working the way I want them to everyone likes to interfere... those that I don't want to. I need to learn how to keep my life private, but it's like... you've gotta figure these things out. You spend a night with your best friend, and the next second it's like nothing ever happened. I really think of him as a really great guy... but see what I want most right now is Kevin. I like this guy, Kevin, like crazy mad... I've built up this infatuation with him for two years. What started off as just a crush has grown to so much more. It's like a fantasy story... it's all through a few phone calls before his mission & then letters all throughout his whole mission! It is truly amazing! He gets back in 1 month & 9 days. It is so close to him coming home it's crazy I really & truly can't wait to just see his face. At the same time though it's like I'm battling myself cause I'm afraid of the result of all that could happen... It's not that I don't want something amazing to happen... it's just that I'm afraid that it won't happen. Life is truly amazing... it's never really exactly how you want it to be, but I guess that is what makes it worth wild. I have to make decisions for myself & stick with those decisions... it's hard having a guy as a best friend. It's not that I don't appreciate him being there for me & whatnot... it's just that I really want my life with Kevin to be as a dream come true. Kevin is a really amazing guy... and I've known him longer, and ACKERS to the core! It's ok that things don't always work the way I want them to, but the drama is not needed... so, I guess what I need to do is put my foot down... it doesn't matter if I have the slightest bit of feelings for my best friend... what matters is that I am falling head over heels for a guy I've been writing for the past two years! It's truly amazing! YEAH... in the words of Forrest Gump - "That's all I have to say about that."