This is a post I've debated writing for months because it will be down to earth and genuine as I try to explain hardships I've had or feelings I get, and how people consistently say they understand when they truly don't. No one truly knows how damaged someone else might be. There are life experiences that each of us have that change us either for the good or the bad. Life is full of ups or downs. Happy moments and sad moments. Moments we want to remember forever, and moments we'd rather forget.
First, I'd like to discuss a subject that is and will always be hard for me. This is the power of a friend. I have had my biggest fear come true, and it may shock people what my biggest fear is... That fear is losing a loved one, someone I care deeply about, not to death, but to life. Life takes all of us in different directions. It can strengthen us, or it can bring us through the depths of hell. From Day to day you may have both of these things happen to you. However, it is something so mundane that you may not realize that through actions taken you can lose one of the closest people to you. In that moment when you finally realize you've lost that person your heart is forever changed. How you speak to others, how you wonder if someone is frustrated or annoyed with you. You begin to walk through life as if you may always offend someone else. You begin to apologize for something you don't need to, but instead of just saying you are sorry... You have a genuine heart felt apology because you feel in some way you have truly annoyed or disappointed this person. And most importantly when someone is just being kind to you-- you probably begin to take it as something it's not meant to be taken as. Such as, "do they pity me? Do they like me?" You over think and over analyze EVERYTHING! Your heart is always on guard because you feel like you might get hurt by someone in some way. It is truly the most horrifying thing anyone could ever experience.
I know that things always happen for a reason, and for that I am very grateful. The realization that in every situation you can either choose to be happy or you may choose to be sad is one of the greatest realizations ever. I would like to say that even though my greatest fear has come true I still find amazingly happy moments every day. Staying positive is something I will always strive to do.
In college I had this friend who was one of the greatest people I had ever met. Throughout time and distance and life happening we no longer speak. However, the memories are what keeps one going. The memories that he was an important part of my life, and maybe just maybe one day I'll meet someone that can change my life even more than he had.
Sorry if most of this seems like ramblings. I get to writing things and then my thoughts just stop. May God Bless each and every one of you in your search for happiness.
LITTLE GIRL AND BOY IN AN ADVENTUROUS WORLD!
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Texting vs. Verbal communication
This is a talk I gave in church thought I'd share it with each of you:
How often do we spend time glued to a small device that fits in our pockets vs. invested in the conversation that is directly in front of us? What if we ignored people in real life like we ignored texts what would that look like?
In a talk from Brad Wilcox in 2007 the question was asked “Is texting good or bad?” His answer is simple: “It depends on how you use it.” My goal today is to address how texting can be good, but how it can also interfere with human interaction. Also, how face-to-face communication can be better for us and our relationships.
I often hear stories about people that are super upset because they haven’t received a text in days, and I too will admit that I have acted like this. In April I had an amazing opportunity to realize the value of human interaction. Due to a tiny crystal in my gallbladder I became extremely ill. And all because I had been depending on a device from my pocket to converse with my friends I became very sad when I had received no texts from friends for days. Even though, I knew they all had busy lives, and couldn’t just drop what they were doing at will. This same device caused me even more trouble after surgery and the doctor put me on Percocet. I ended up texting friends asking where I was, and I would scare both them and myself, but in reality I was just extremely drugged up on pain medications. I learned from that experience that the small device in my pocket didn’t truly matter as much as I was allowing it to. I also learned how valuable my relationship with my family was. My sister would often stay with me at night to make sure I got plenty of rest, and the interactions I encountered with other family members and friends taught me that the people we interact with do not reside in a device of any kind.
In college had a roommate that was an English Education major, but she quite often confused me when she would come up to me and say, “JSYK, you got a letter in the mail, and I need to go to the store.” She would start almost EVERY conversation with those four letters “JSYK”. It took me forever to figure out what she meant. Eventually, I figured out what JSYK meant, but then I started to notice she did it in everything else as well, and start saying things like “LOL” or “ROFL”. I got so confused talking to her, and one day actually asked her about this, but I’ll admit that to this day I’m not even sure what she said because everything was still in text lingo. This also reminds me of this show I like to watch… In this show the main character gets an assignment from her teacher about going to the library to see what she and her friends can discover about face-to-face communication. One of the beginning scenes is where a couple of the characters are reading from a book and they read, “Not until we put down our phones, switch off our computers, and look into each other’s eyes will we be able to touch each other’s hearts.” Throughout the rest of this show you can see how the students become more connected to each other because they stepped away from the technology.
Texting is good for immediate information, but most work places discourage against texting during office hours because it interferes with being personable with clients. In a verbal conversation or one that is face-to-face you have the ability to see/ hear expression that can get lost during text. A sarcastic remark will often get confused as being mean or rude unless you bluntly write about it being sarcastic.
Nearly all day every day I text one of my very good friends while she is at work (she has a job that allows some texting when the work loads are minimal); we talk about our likes and dislikes, share pictures, stories, and anything we can think of. However, we are only able to do this because we know each other very well, and often times even though we text this much we still have EXTREMELY LONG conversations in person. Sometimes these conversations keep us out way later than we had planned on being out. Another good example of texting is how often I’ll get texts from someone, and I can see his expressions when he puts a smile, wink, or frown on these texts, but my favorite moments are in those phones calls from any of my friends, but especially when I can speak to them face-to-face.
Recently, I had the opportunity to spend time with someone else I now consider to be a good friend. He and I chatted for probably about 7 hours, and neither of us had any desire to constantly text someone who wasn’t there, or even really check our phones. We were both very invested in the conversation at the time. We even put on a movie to watch, but instead of really watching we continued to talk about or lives, and we really got to know each other as friends. We discussed things like people we’ve gone out with, the type of person that interests us, struggles we’ve had, and our stance on so many things with the gospel. I learned from that how important it is to consistently surround yourself with those same values that you have. We both even stated something about when you are with another person it is usually best not to look at your phone every 5 seconds.
Now, as you can see I’ve had this opportunity several times to put my phone away when talking to friends, or being around others. I especially love to do it during one-on-one time with a friend. The only times I’ve noticed I text when with a friend is if I or them are not 100% invested in the conversation (which is rare), or when there is something I know that I have to know about that is happening with family, and especially emergencies. I always try to immediately answer phone calls or texts, but I don’t if I either don’t know the number or if I am busy I will not answer them right away. However, if a message is left I make it a priority to ALWAYS get back to the person at some point.
I’m not saying texting is horrible, but if you want to go out with a guy or girl… a phone call or in person is still the best way to ask. I know many of us being Young Single Adults hate hearing about how much we do or do not date, but I think that Elder Ballard said it best in this last conference, “Please stop delaying! I know some of you fear family formation. However, if you marry the right person at the right time and in the right place, you need not fear. In fact, many problems you encounter will be avoided if you are ‘anxiously engaged’ in righteous dating, courting, and marriage. DON’T TEXT HER! USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO RIGHTEOUS DAUGHTERS OF GOD WHO ARE ALL AROUND YOU. TO ACTUALLY HEAR A HUMAN VOICE WILL SHOCK HER—PERHAPS INTO SAYING YES.”
If given the opportunity I’ve wondered how many would rather text God than pray to Him. I would not… the beautiful thing about prayer is that many times we can feel the love of God right there with us as we pray. He answers our prayers over time, and every prayer is unique in both how they are asked and how they are answered. In Christ’s time they did not have all the technology we do now, but I believe that even if He did have that technology He would much rather talk to you one-on-one. He walked the streets talking to everyone.
Another thing I’ve noticed that texting doesn’t allow is interaction with the beauty that surrounds us. Yesterday, a few of us in the ward had the opportunity to hike to Ruth’s Lake. Personally, I made a decision to put my phone into airplane mode so that way I could enjoy God’s creations around me. I noticed people talking to each other and actually getting to know each other. I have a firm belief that every time you talk to a new person you are creating a new relationship. I am one of those people that have over 1,000 friends on Facebook. I used to know all of these people very personally, but now because of one of the many things I do for work I am connected to a few people outside of the U.S. that I know I have never met. I have had personal conversations with almost all of these people at some point or another though because I believe it is important to get to know everyone around you. I also have a firm belief that if you are texting you will miss out on several opportunities that are around you.
I love technology, and I think it can be beneficial for each of us to use it to our advantage. But we should never allow it to replace verbal communication with others. Again I quote from the TV show “Not until we put down our phones, switch off our computers, and look into each other’s eyes will we be able to touch each other’s hearts.”
I have a testimony in the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful for the Gospel in my life. I'm grateful for my friends and family. I'm glad we can have the beautiful quiet moments in life. I love the influences of the temple. I say this in Jesus name Amen.
How often do we spend time glued to a small device that fits in our pockets vs. invested in the conversation that is directly in front of us? What if we ignored people in real life like we ignored texts what would that look like?
In a talk from Brad Wilcox in 2007 the question was asked “Is texting good or bad?” His answer is simple: “It depends on how you use it.” My goal today is to address how texting can be good, but how it can also interfere with human interaction. Also, how face-to-face communication can be better for us and our relationships.
I often hear stories about people that are super upset because they haven’t received a text in days, and I too will admit that I have acted like this. In April I had an amazing opportunity to realize the value of human interaction. Due to a tiny crystal in my gallbladder I became extremely ill. And all because I had been depending on a device from my pocket to converse with my friends I became very sad when I had received no texts from friends for days. Even though, I knew they all had busy lives, and couldn’t just drop what they were doing at will. This same device caused me even more trouble after surgery and the doctor put me on Percocet. I ended up texting friends asking where I was, and I would scare both them and myself, but in reality I was just extremely drugged up on pain medications. I learned from that experience that the small device in my pocket didn’t truly matter as much as I was allowing it to. I also learned how valuable my relationship with my family was. My sister would often stay with me at night to make sure I got plenty of rest, and the interactions I encountered with other family members and friends taught me that the people we interact with do not reside in a device of any kind.
In college had a roommate that was an English Education major, but she quite often confused me when she would come up to me and say, “JSYK, you got a letter in the mail, and I need to go to the store.” She would start almost EVERY conversation with those four letters “JSYK”. It took me forever to figure out what she meant. Eventually, I figured out what JSYK meant, but then I started to notice she did it in everything else as well, and start saying things like “LOL” or “ROFL”. I got so confused talking to her, and one day actually asked her about this, but I’ll admit that to this day I’m not even sure what she said because everything was still in text lingo. This also reminds me of this show I like to watch… In this show the main character gets an assignment from her teacher about going to the library to see what she and her friends can discover about face-to-face communication. One of the beginning scenes is where a couple of the characters are reading from a book and they read, “Not until we put down our phones, switch off our computers, and look into each other’s eyes will we be able to touch each other’s hearts.” Throughout the rest of this show you can see how the students become more connected to each other because they stepped away from the technology.
Texting is good for immediate information, but most work places discourage against texting during office hours because it interferes with being personable with clients. In a verbal conversation or one that is face-to-face you have the ability to see/ hear expression that can get lost during text. A sarcastic remark will often get confused as being mean or rude unless you bluntly write about it being sarcastic.
Nearly all day every day I text one of my very good friends while she is at work (she has a job that allows some texting when the work loads are minimal); we talk about our likes and dislikes, share pictures, stories, and anything we can think of. However, we are only able to do this because we know each other very well, and often times even though we text this much we still have EXTREMELY LONG conversations in person. Sometimes these conversations keep us out way later than we had planned on being out. Another good example of texting is how often I’ll get texts from someone, and I can see his expressions when he puts a smile, wink, or frown on these texts, but my favorite moments are in those phones calls from any of my friends, but especially when I can speak to them face-to-face.
Recently, I had the opportunity to spend time with someone else I now consider to be a good friend. He and I chatted for probably about 7 hours, and neither of us had any desire to constantly text someone who wasn’t there, or even really check our phones. We were both very invested in the conversation at the time. We even put on a movie to watch, but instead of really watching we continued to talk about or lives, and we really got to know each other as friends. We discussed things like people we’ve gone out with, the type of person that interests us, struggles we’ve had, and our stance on so many things with the gospel. I learned from that how important it is to consistently surround yourself with those same values that you have. We both even stated something about when you are with another person it is usually best not to look at your phone every 5 seconds.
Now, as you can see I’ve had this opportunity several times to put my phone away when talking to friends, or being around others. I especially love to do it during one-on-one time with a friend. The only times I’ve noticed I text when with a friend is if I or them are not 100% invested in the conversation (which is rare), or when there is something I know that I have to know about that is happening with family, and especially emergencies. I always try to immediately answer phone calls or texts, but I don’t if I either don’t know the number or if I am busy I will not answer them right away. However, if a message is left I make it a priority to ALWAYS get back to the person at some point.
I’m not saying texting is horrible, but if you want to go out with a guy or girl… a phone call or in person is still the best way to ask. I know many of us being Young Single Adults hate hearing about how much we do or do not date, but I think that Elder Ballard said it best in this last conference, “Please stop delaying! I know some of you fear family formation. However, if you marry the right person at the right time and in the right place, you need not fear. In fact, many problems you encounter will be avoided if you are ‘anxiously engaged’ in righteous dating, courting, and marriage. DON’T TEXT HER! USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO RIGHTEOUS DAUGHTERS OF GOD WHO ARE ALL AROUND YOU. TO ACTUALLY HEAR A HUMAN VOICE WILL SHOCK HER—PERHAPS INTO SAYING YES.”
If given the opportunity I’ve wondered how many would rather text God than pray to Him. I would not… the beautiful thing about prayer is that many times we can feel the love of God right there with us as we pray. He answers our prayers over time, and every prayer is unique in both how they are asked and how they are answered. In Christ’s time they did not have all the technology we do now, but I believe that even if He did have that technology He would much rather talk to you one-on-one. He walked the streets talking to everyone.
Another thing I’ve noticed that texting doesn’t allow is interaction with the beauty that surrounds us. Yesterday, a few of us in the ward had the opportunity to hike to Ruth’s Lake. Personally, I made a decision to put my phone into airplane mode so that way I could enjoy God’s creations around me. I noticed people talking to each other and actually getting to know each other. I have a firm belief that every time you talk to a new person you are creating a new relationship. I am one of those people that have over 1,000 friends on Facebook. I used to know all of these people very personally, but now because of one of the many things I do for work I am connected to a few people outside of the U.S. that I know I have never met. I have had personal conversations with almost all of these people at some point or another though because I believe it is important to get to know everyone around you. I also have a firm belief that if you are texting you will miss out on several opportunities that are around you.
I love technology, and I think it can be beneficial for each of us to use it to our advantage. But we should never allow it to replace verbal communication with others. Again I quote from the TV show “Not until we put down our phones, switch off our computers, and look into each other’s eyes will we be able to touch each other’s hearts.”
I have a testimony in the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful for the Gospel in my life. I'm grateful for my friends and family. I'm glad we can have the beautiful quiet moments in life. I love the influences of the temple. I say this in Jesus name Amen.
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