First Experiences...

So, let's start off by saying that I am very grateful to my Father in Heaven for the experiences I am getting to have. Every Monday & Wednesday I have the opportunity to go and volunteer in a Kindergarten class at Central Elementary School in Sugar City, Idaho & it is truly a wonderful experience. My first day was Monday... I mostly just observed, but during their time of reading on Monday one girl wanted to sit on my lap while their teacher read to them. It was the cutest thing in the world. I loved it, and it made me feel extremely special! The students are truly amazing and quite smart. It's amazing to see how much one can learn in Kindergarten. I didn't expect what I am seeing. Truly kids these days are much smarter. Take my nephew for example yes, he is among the "more intelligent" of them, but it's still amazing how much he knows and remembers at his age. Well, going on... today, my partner and I had the opportunity to actually teach one of the centers. And it was quite a miracle to see the students work on their addition, or counting coins, and then when some of the students actually already knew how to play dominoes I was quite impressed. Keep in mind that these children are 5 & 6 years old... they are quite amazing! Anyway, my cooperating teacher had recess duty today so, my partner & I went outside to talk to her about what we are doing next week... GOING TO THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!!! LOL! Any who... while at recess this one boy... let's say he's in about 2nd grade was chasing girls, and I thought to myself of how simple things were in those days for both boys and girls... you know the stage right before the girls and boys start getting coodies... lol... yeah, it was also very cute to see how accepting they are to each other... it seemed like no one was left out. I like that when no one is left out. I've had many friends tell me that when they were younger they were bullied, and I mean I'm sure it still goes on, but not like it used to... I've noticed that kids are much more accepting... I mean my first day in class and there was already a student who wanted to sit on my lap. I think they enjoy how willing we are to actually stoop down to their level! It's truly a miracle. I love this feeling I get when I am around those students.

Now, onto some more other things... I have been reading children's books for my Children's Lit class, and it's so much fun reading the things I read long ago. It's truly bringing me back to the days of childhood just like being in the Kindergarten class. I am remembering how I learned certain things. I am truly grateful to everything that is going on in my life. Even though I wake up early and by the time I get home from classes and studying in the library, or any building for hours on end I am just still wanting to do so much more, and I love it. I couldn't be happier... I mean... I could, but that's just out of my hands right now... lol. However, there are things I can control, and one of those is grades, and the work I do to get those grades.

I also look forward to the end of each week because I am able to talk to one of my best friends... sometimes he doesn't feel like talking, but that too is okay. :) But at the end of this week it's going to be insane... I have a friend that I met my first semester of college getting married, and Kevin & I are going down to the reception on Friday night... oh boy! I'm not excited about the fact that I will have loads of homework to do, but maybe I can get a lot of that done before I leave! :D And then... my Birthday is on the 10th!!!!! I'm really excited... I'll be 21!!!! YAY!!!! I can't wait to be 21!!!! I don't know why... not like it's any different from other ages... I guess I just want to be as old as my friends... haha! Well, I guess I've said enough... I've got a book to read!!!! GO CHILDREN'S BOOKS!!!!! :)

Long Roads to Take

Well, today I had my first full day of classes. Let's just say... I'm pooped & I've barely even started. It probably doesn't help matters any that I'm sick! I am not going to drop any classes... I'm gunna push through until the end... which I hope will prove to be an awesome decision! I thought about dropping my religion class, but they may actually be one of the few things that keeps me sane this semester since I can't be in in band. So... I will be teaching Kindergarten this semester. I'm excited! My Mama Jane back home in LA teaches that so, maybe I'll ask her for a few tips! ;) Also, my religion teacher seems pretty cool, and I just have the normal amount for that class which I am used to! :D And then there are only 9 people in my math class so, as long as I work hard outside the class I should be fine! :D Tomorrow I go to my Children's Lit class... that should be enjoyable. I need to find some perfect time when I'm not exhausted to study for my World Civ class... Today I was gone all day long from 8:30- 3:30... I really feel exhausted right now cause I've been up since 6am! What fun! So, it was kinda fun today... after my Early Field class I called Brian just to see how he's been doing, and plus he left for Seattle today :D! Anyways, I didn't get answer which is cool so, I left a message... he called me back like right after I put my phone back on silent... so I texted him and told him I'd call him when I got out of class at 3... I did & I swear our phones hated each other. It was quite funny! I'm really hoping I can survive this semester of course I learned something interesting today in my Old Testament class... my teacher said that's it's not about the grades it's how you get those grades... I mean we can try all we want to achieve all this stuff, but if we don't do it through Christ then, what's the point?! Yeah, so basically I'm thinking if I say my prayers every night and every morning... I can get through every day! I should be spiritually uplifted! :D I think in the end... as long as I work hard this semester will pay off! After all... it's a puzzle and I need to learn how to organize the pieces! :D 1 day down 87 to go! BRING IT ON! plus... my birthday is in... 18 days! I'm excited... I'll be 21! YAY! Well, ttfn!

The start of a new semester!

So, it begins... today I am going back to Rexburg to start a brand new semester at BYU-Idaho... I am going to be taking 18 credits and studying hard. I've wondered how I was to do it until I talked to a good friend. He said to treat it like a puzzle... you examine each piece and then put them into categories. I'm really going to use his advice because this last semester he got strait A's... I'm hoping to do extremely well. After all I am retaking a class so I won't have to ever do it again, and I'm taking an online class which is going to be hard work in and of itself. I'll also be studying math nearly ever day... I think one of the things that will truly help me is that I am finally realizing that what I learn I can help others to learn in the future. Every thing I am taught is an advantage for me to become a better teacher. I've always in many ways just wanted to help others learn, and if it means that in the process to learn how to do that I have to work extremely hard then that is what I will do. I am absolutely excited to begin this semester because it is the last of only a few left! The beginning of the end: I'm going to apply for fast grad this summer so, that I can graduate within the next year. I have this semester then fall, winter, summer, and student teaching the next fall! It is truly going to be an enjoyable time. I know that I am to have fun as well as work hard, but I am just excited to be able to have the opportunity soon to go out and teach others what I have learned. This semester I'm really excited to be able to go to the school at least twice a week, and teach students, or help them learn a new concept! I truly cannot wait! It is going to be one of the best times I've ever had. I keep remembering how it felt when I worked at Sylvan and had the opportunity to help a child... it was truly amazing to see the gleam in their eye! I cannot wait to teach a whole room full of students and be able to every day get that opportunity. This semester also means the beginning of getting ready to take tests. This fall is going to be the first time I'll have to take the Praxis... so, I need to learn how to study better, and retain knowledge even more than I already have! I love what I am going into, and I think realizing that was the first step to knowing that I truly will prosper in life. I'm ready to take on the challenges of life whatever they may be. We all have stumbling blocks, but that's what makes this life that much more worth it in the end.

The feeling you get...

So, I'm not gunna go into details of what happened when we talked, but it was truly amazing. I realized many things as I was talking. And what it all comes down to is this... in a little over a week I will be starting Summer Semester here at BYU-Idaho. I have about a year and a half left of college and then I'm done and off to where ever the world takes me. Exciting eh?! Well, I am also taking 18 credits this summer which means... I get to study hard... not hardly study! Although my friend told me to "have fun & go out." Of course I will try to do this when I am not so busy with classes. Plus, my birthday is this summer... YAY! 21... AWESOMENESS TO THE CORE! And the fact that my friend Kevin Elkins will be coming every once in a while to hang out... well, that should be fun in a bottle. The truth is I am going to miss the times I have had with him (the guy I've been talking about). He will be in Seattle making money. Maybe we'll talk every once in a blue moon... haha. Well, I'm not sure what else to say! I get to do the joy of cleaning today for white glove! :D

How do you tell someone...?

So, all day I pretty much talked to my cousin about some things. It's hard to be able to tell one of your best friends in the whole wide world that you can't really be their friend any more, but at the same time if it's what you need to do to help yourself then... it's probably for the best. People see that you are hurting, but no one truly knows the pain that creeps inside of you. The truth of everything is that you don't even know why you are in pain. Your heart is hurting, and you really are unsure as to why. I've had a crush on Kevin Elkins for about 2 years now, and now it seems like it's all changing for me... I don't really feel the way I once did. I guess I'm seeing everything in a new light now... I'm not really sure. I do know that in many ways I am falling for someone I shouldn't be and that's Brian. Brian Christensen has become an amazing friend to me, and I have been trying to fight my feelings for him, but it's so hard to do. Today I talked (texted) Edward (my cousin) about it a bit, and I learned several things. I was also talking to Jason Giles (Bonnie's husband), and I just don't know what I am going to do about all of this. I'm not in the mood to really talk to Brian, but at the same time I want to because truly I am going to miss him tons this summer. I feel like Brian sees nothing in me, and that I'll only ever be his friend... to me right now that hurts. I mean he's truly a sweet guy, but I just don't know any more why I have to be the one that suffers and likes him like this. It sucks a ton! I'm not sure where to go, and sometimes even who to turn to, but oh well. I'm not even sure what else to say right now except goodnight & here is a song that has been running through my head nonstop. Enjoy!

This might come as quite a shock,
But I've given it a lot of thought.
This thing that's come between us can't be ignored.
I've taken all I can;
This is where it's gotta end.
'Cause I can't be your friend anymore.

An' I can't be accused,
Of not bein' there for you.
How many nights have you shown up at my door?
I hope you understand,
That this wasn't in my plans,
But I can't be your friend anymore.

An' it's killin' me to know you,
Without havin' a chance to hold you.
An' all I wanna do is show you,
How I really feel inside.
You can run to me,
You can laugh at me,
Or you can walk right out that door.
But I can't be your friend anymore.

So, baby, now it's up to you:
Do I win or do I lose?
Will my heart fly or lie broken on the floor.
Well, take me as I am,
'Cause I wanna be your man.
But I can't be your friend anymore.

An' it's killin' me to know you,
Without havin' a chance to hold you.
An' all I wanna do is show you,
How I really feel inside.
You can run to me,
You can laugh at me,
Or you can walk right out that door.
But I can't be just friends anymore.

We can't be just friends anymore.