This is a talk I gave in church thought I'd share it with each of you:
How often do we spend time glued to a small device that fits in our pockets vs. invested in the conversation that is directly in front of us? What if we ignored people in real life like we ignored texts what would that look like?
In a talk from Brad Wilcox in 2007 the question was asked “Is texting good or bad?” His answer is simple: “It depends on how you use it.” My goal today is to address how texting can be good, but how it can also interfere with human interaction. Also, how face-to-face communication can be better for us and our relationships.
I often hear stories about people that are super upset because they haven’t received a text in days, and I too will admit that I have acted like this. In April I had an amazing opportunity to realize the value of human interaction. Due to a tiny crystal in my gallbladder I became extremely ill. And all because I had been depending on a device from my pocket to converse with my friends I became very sad when I had received no texts from friends for days. Even though, I knew they all had busy lives, and couldn’t just drop what they were doing at will. This same device caused me even more trouble after surgery and the doctor put me on Percocet. I ended up texting friends asking where I was, and I would scare both them and myself, but in reality I was just extremely drugged up on pain medications. I learned from that experience that the small device in my pocket didn’t truly matter as much as I was allowing it to. I also learned how valuable my relationship with my family was. My sister would often stay with me at night to make sure I got plenty of rest, and the interactions I encountered with other family members and friends taught me that the people we interact with do not reside in a device of any kind.
In college had a roommate that was an English Education major, but she quite often confused me when she would come up to me and say, “JSYK, you got a letter in the mail, and I need to go to the store.” She would start almost EVERY conversation with those four letters “JSYK”. It took me forever to figure out what she meant. Eventually, I figured out what JSYK meant, but then I started to notice she did it in everything else as well, and start saying things like “LOL” or “ROFL”. I got so confused talking to her, and one day actually asked her about this, but I’ll admit that to this day I’m not even sure what she said because everything was still in text lingo. This also reminds me of this show I like to watch… In this show the main character gets an assignment from her teacher about going to the library to see what she and her friends can discover about face-to-face communication. One of the beginning scenes is where a couple of the characters are reading from a book and they read, “Not until we put down our phones, switch off our computers, and look into each other’s eyes will we be able to touch each other’s hearts.” Throughout the rest of this show you can see how the students become more connected to each other because they stepped away from the technology.
Texting is good for immediate information, but most work places discourage against texting during office hours because it interferes with being personable with clients. In a verbal conversation or one that is face-to-face you have the ability to see/ hear expression that can get lost during text. A sarcastic remark will often get confused as being mean or rude unless you bluntly write about it being sarcastic.
Nearly all day every day I text one of my very good friends while she is at work (she has a job that allows some texting when the work loads are minimal); we talk about our likes and dislikes, share pictures, stories, and anything we can think of. However, we are only able to do this because we know each other very well, and often times even though we text this much we still have EXTREMELY LONG conversations in person. Sometimes these conversations keep us out way later than we had planned on being out. Another good example of texting is how often I’ll get texts from someone, and I can see his expressions when he puts a smile, wink, or frown on these texts, but my favorite moments are in those phones calls from any of my friends, but especially when I can speak to them face-to-face.
Recently, I had the opportunity to spend time with someone else I now consider to be a good friend. He and I chatted for probably about 7 hours, and neither of us had any desire to constantly text someone who wasn’t there, or even really check our phones. We were both very invested in the conversation at the time. We even put on a movie to watch, but instead of really watching we continued to talk about or lives, and we really got to know each other as friends. We discussed things like people we’ve gone out with, the type of person that interests us, struggles we’ve had, and our stance on so many things with the gospel. I learned from that how important it is to consistently surround yourself with those same values that you have. We both even stated something about when you are with another person it is usually best not to look at your phone every 5 seconds.
Now, as you can see I’ve had this opportunity several times to put my phone away when talking to friends, or being around others. I especially love to do it during one-on-one time with a friend. The only times I’ve noticed I text when with a friend is if I or them are not 100% invested in the conversation (which is rare), or when there is something I know that I have to know about that is happening with family, and especially emergencies. I always try to immediately answer phone calls or texts, but I don’t if I either don’t know the number or if I am busy I will not answer them right away. However, if a message is left I make it a priority to ALWAYS get back to the person at some point.
I’m not saying texting is horrible, but if you want to go out with a guy or girl… a phone call or in person is still the best way to ask. I know many of us being Young Single Adults hate hearing about how much we do or do not date, but I think that Elder Ballard said it best in this last conference, “Please stop delaying! I know some of you fear family formation. However, if you marry the right person at the right time and in the right place, you need not fear. In fact, many problems you encounter will be avoided if you are ‘anxiously engaged’ in righteous dating, courting, and marriage. DON’T TEXT HER! USE YOUR OWN VOICE TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO RIGHTEOUS DAUGHTERS OF GOD WHO ARE ALL AROUND YOU. TO ACTUALLY HEAR A HUMAN VOICE WILL SHOCK HER—PERHAPS INTO SAYING YES.”
If given the opportunity I’ve wondered how many would rather text God than pray to Him. I would not… the beautiful thing about prayer is that many times we can feel the love of God right there with us as we pray. He answers our prayers over time, and every prayer is unique in both how they are asked and how they are answered. In Christ’s time they did not have all the technology we do now, but I believe that even if He did have that technology He would much rather talk to you one-on-one. He walked the streets talking to everyone.
Another thing I’ve noticed that texting doesn’t allow is interaction with the beauty that surrounds us. Yesterday, a few of us in the ward had the opportunity to hike to Ruth’s Lake. Personally, I made a decision to put my phone into airplane mode so that way I could enjoy God’s creations around me. I noticed people talking to each other and actually getting to know each other. I have a firm belief that every time you talk to a new person you are creating a new relationship. I am one of those people that have over 1,000 friends on Facebook. I used to know all of these people very personally, but now because of one of the many things I do for work I am connected to a few people outside of the U.S. that I know I have never met. I have had personal conversations with almost all of these people at some point or another though because I believe it is important to get to know everyone around you. I also have a firm belief that if you are texting you will miss out on several opportunities that are around you.
I love technology, and I think it can be beneficial for each of us to use it to our advantage. But we should never allow it to replace verbal communication with others. Again I quote from the TV show “Not until we put down our phones, switch off our computers, and look into each other’s eyes will we be able to touch each other’s hearts.”
I have a testimony in the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful for the Gospel in my life. I'm grateful for my friends and family. I'm glad we can have the beautiful quiet moments in life. I love the influences of the temple. I say this in Jesus name Amen.
