Thou art not yet as Job

As many know this past year has had its ups and downs for sure!
The end of December last year my Grandma Mayhoffer (Mom's step-mom) passed away. I always looked to her as a roll model. As this year has been a back and forth roller coaster to Colorado for me, I soon realized that my Dad's Sister would die of Breast Cancer. I must admit that this didn't come as much as a surprise for me, and over the past few months or since January I've learned how death is never the end. Well, as I have journeyed all over the west this year I must admit that I have really truly just wanted to be around immediate family or at "home" in Utah.
Yesterday, August 23, 2014 my Grandma Baron (Dad's mom) passed away. Now, I should just be devastated and heart broken by this like I was for my other Grandma, but I am not. Here is my rant as to why.
Honestly, I feel bad but I don't about what I am about to say. In 2005 I graduated from high school and about a month before mom got a phone call that Grandma Baron broke her foot, and would not be able to make it to my graduation. Now, I should be just totally fine with that, but I wasn't. Because she then used the voucher for that ticket to go somewhere else. Then, I went to college that fall at Brigham Young University-Idaho in Rexburg, Idaho. Which is about 30 minutes from Idaho Falls, Idaho where my grandmother lived. Well, it was okay for the most part, and I went to Idaho Falls maybe twice (I didn't have a car) and she came and visited me maybe once. Well, when I graduated from college I invited her to come see me walk since she couldn't come to my high school graduation. The excuse I got was that my uncle who was living with her was sick and couldn't drive her up. This was after my father had offered to go and get her! Yeah, I was pretty upset. However, the thing that topped the cake with a cherry for me was when I got endowed the following summer. I felt very strongly that I should go through the temple. I called my Grandmother who I felt was spiritually very strong and would understand. When I told her I had plans to go through the temple the first thing she asked me was "are you getting married?" I replied, "no." then I hear, "well, are you going on a mission?" I said, "no grandma. I feel very strongly I need to go through the temple." She then said, "well, that's very far and I don't think I'll make it." I will be 100% honest and say I was both heartbroken and livid. And then a couple years later she was able to come down for my brother's wedding. Yeah, this honestly broke my heart because it was at that point I realized how much I felt I didn't matter to my grandmother. I know it's absolutely awful of me to hold a grudge like this, and not be more forgiving. I loved my grandmother and it kinda sucks that she's gone, but in all reality I don't believe that death is the end. Because well, it isn't. I pray that she may be able to grow in the next life, and I pray that I may be able to forgive. I feel like forgiveness is key for our own salvation. It really doesn't help the others much... just helps ourselves.

Now, you might be wondering why I went on this rant and what Job might have to do with all of this. Well, I was reading the lesson for church Sunday School today, and there were just so many things that came to my mind. The lesson was on Job, and as you may know Job lost everything and was still 100% faithful to the Lord, and in turn the Lord gave him everything and then some back. Read Job! It's such an amazing book in the Bible!  Also, it would benefit you to read Doctrine & Covenants 121. If you don't have that book just go here: D&C:121

Then, I came across a few quotes that just hit me like a ton of bricks!
Elder Wirthlin suggested: “Perhaps members of the Church could emulate the example
of these hardy, sturdy plants. We should send our roots deep into the soil of the
gospel. We should grow, flourish, flower, and bear good fruit in abundance despite the
evil, temptation, or criticism we might encounter. We should learn to thrive in the heat
of adversity”

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin defined integrity as “always doing what is right and good,
regardless of the immediate consequences. It means being righteous from the very
depth of our soul, not only in our actions but, more important, in our thoughts and in
our hearts. Personal integrity implies such trustworthiness and incorruptibility that we
are incapable of being false to a trust or covenant”

Elder Orson F. Whitney said: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is
wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience,
faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when
we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls,
and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of
God ... and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the
education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father
and Mother in heaven.

The Prophet Joseph Smith said: “I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high
mountain; and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming
in contact with something else, ... knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I
will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty”

So, moral of my rant and vent? Well, be thankful for all that you have. Forgive everyone. Love everyone. Because well... it's true... you aren't like Job, and he lost everything! So... you have no reason to complain.
You can, but truth be told in the end all it is would be complaining. :)

What is the Priesthood?

First, I'd like to say that if you can't stomach my venting, and expressing my personal views on something I feel extremely deeply about DO NOT READ...

Now, as many know (because I never wish to hide it) I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I grew up in the church and was baptized when I was 8 years old. At 8 years of age I understood that I was taking on a covenant with my Father in Heaven that would impact the rest of my life. I prepared myself, and read my scriptures diligently. I wasn't a great reader at the time, but there were many scriptures, at that time, that began to impact my life. One of the first scriptures that really impacted who I am, and the one that I put on my baptism program is 3 Nephi 11: 38 "And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and be baptized in my name, and become as a little child, or ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God." This scripture has helped me learn more about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the covenants I am constantly making with my Father in Heaven.

When I turned 13 I made the decision to get my patriarchal blessing. A patriarchal blessing gives insight into our lives here on this earth and into eternity. It helps direct and guide us as long as we are true and faithful to our baptismal covenants. Most don't receive this blessing until they are between 14 & 15 years of age, but after hearing our Patriarch speak in stake conference I decided to inquire about getting mine. It is my direct revelation from my Father in Heaven to teach me what I am to do in my life.

At the age of about 23, after having graduated college, I decided it was time to see if I could go to the temple and receive my endowment. An endowment is a priesthood covenant made between you and God where you promise to both yourself and God that you will always obey Him and His way in both truth and light. Before going to the temple to do this I took a special class, and read scriptures diligently. I read about the restoration, and about the power of the covenants I was about to make. When I went to the temple I wasn't really surprised by anything, and was truly and deeply honored by the covenants I was making with My Father.

Now, many may wonder why I have just gone on and on about my experience on being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints... Well, if you have heard anything in the news about the church as of late then you have in a sense seen a bad light put upon the church. Such as, Women can't hold the priesthood. OR The LGBT community is not accepted in that religion. TO ALL OF THIS I SAY... POPPYCOCK! Many members of The LDS church are the most accepting and loving people I know. Yes, there are few that aren't, but you will find those in every religion. I have friends in the church that are "gay", but love their religion and honor their covenants. There is a blogger that is MORMON & GAY! So, I don't want to hear how that isn't possible... Cause it is... we love everyone.
However, that is not the point of this blog... the point is talk about the Priesthood. Yesterday I posted the following on Facebook:

"For the most part I've kept my mouth shut over this whole 'ordain women' thing, but I feel it is important for me to say this: in my mind if you are a member of any religion and you disobey the kind words of your leaders then you probably aren't really a part of that religion. I am LDS! I love every minute of it. I am a temple going and gospel worshiping young lady. I respect all religions and all views. But personally I have made covenants throughout my life that I intend to keep. I had a professor in college that taught me to embrace all truth. What this woman wanted I don't see as truth. I will always follow my Father in Heaven."

If you want to read the story of the woman who started the "ordain women" organization feel free to go here: Kelly on her excommunication
I personally, could only get through the first paragraph before I felt absolutely disgusting inside. When I say that I embrace all truth I really do mean ALL TRUTH! What this woman wanted wasn't truth... here is why: When I took out my covenants in the temple four years ago there was one thing I learned that I hold extremely sacred to me now, and that is that every covenant we make with God is indeed a PRIESTHOOD COVENANT!

So, what is the priesthood? Well, it is the power and authority of GOD on earth. Each office in the church is directed by the Priesthood. In my mind, the world would have nothing without the authority of God on this earth. Everything on this earth is designed by the LOVE of GOD. That means that the Priesthood authority is also the love of God to each of us. He has prepared a way for us to return to Him. The beauty is just that. Many of us don't understand this, but over the past few months I have found so much power in the truth of what I learned from the scriptures and from the temple. Each of us has the LOVE of God in us already. I personally believe that even bearing children takes part in the power of the priesthood. Motherhood is a divine calling straight from God, and links directly to men holding the priesthood.  Here is what the LDS church says on the Priesthood: What is The Priesthood?

I want it to be understood that I do not condemn this woman, and neither do any of her former leaders. In fact, after reading the letter they sent her (that she showed to the press) I saw love in each of those leaders. Love for her, but also pain. Pain that she so willingly would go against everything she knew to be true.

I have a friend that I've been talking to... He grew up LDS, but currently does not practice any specific religion. I respect this, and am glad that we both can teach each other the things we know. I've told him many times how much I love the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I love to be open and learn all that I can learn about that gospel. I love being LDS. I love going to the temple and learning deeply about every covenant I make there. Each time I go I try to learn something new, and I realize that the truth is that LOVE is in everything and everywhere. We as people forget that and begin to place fear in our own hearts, and we run away from the truths that are placed before us. Every missionary male or female has the power of the priesthood with them as they share the gospel. This is known as the Holy Ghost. No, women cannot perform ordinances such as, baptizing and confirming or giving blessings to others. BUT women are nurtures and loving... they can give the gift of love so freely if they just use that power.

I don't know what others will say about my views on women, and I understand that much of what I want to say I won't because I've made covenants with my Father in Heaven that I personally hold very sacred in my heart. Others, that have also made these covenants will understand. This is just how I personally feel. If you have any questions feel free to ask me.

Affecting versus Effecting

Throughout our lives we hear about Cause & Effect, but do we truly know the difference between an effect vs. being affected. I had a professor in college who described what an affect was so perfectly that now when I think about those two words I know the difference. An Effect is a result of something that has happened. However, affect is much different. It has to do with each of us internally and how we feel. When we show affection towards someone we show love. I've been discussing much about love with a friend lately and how love is most often misguided, but yet everything is love. We often have so much fear in our hearts that we forget about the love we should have in our hearts for everyone around us. All in this world is fear vs. love. Everything does have its opposite, but the ultimate opposite is just that of affect vs. effect.

As I've said on here a billion times over the past few months my life has changed drastically. I am currently not working at a job where I have to get up every day, and go to a place of work. However, I do still work. A couple of years ago I was invited to go to a meeting to meet some "inspirational" people.  A few of these people have helped to shape my life for the better. One I personally call my mentor because it has been through his help that I've begun to learn my own purpose in life. The cause of all these changes was that I noticed myself spiraling deeper and deeper into depression. I realized at my darkest hour that I either had to start loving myself, or give in to the depression. Both of these were an effect, and both would also greatly affect who I am. However, the choice was mine to make. And the result is this...

I am an affectionate person. I love others, and I like to be loved by others.  However, sometimes instead of loving each other we end up criticizing each other and belittling each other. For example, I knew of a girl who had a rumor spread about her, but instead of just letting all the leaves fall aside she let it affect her, and instead of loving the person she began to criticize. This girl is me. I often let others affect how I feel, but over the last few months I have learned that I am truly the only one that can affect me.

Now, I am in no way an expert on life. I do like to learn new things and expand my mind. That being said, I have begun to find inspirational quotes and I love learning how what you say can have an effect on the world, and how the world can have an affect on you.

As we begin to love ourselves and love all around us we will begin to learn how to send our love we will learn that the best possible option is to love who we are deep down inside.  We can look in the mirror and accept who we are thus affecting our well being to be greater. 

As I look out at the world I see that all around me is love. The air I breathe is from the love that God has provided for me. He gave me oxygen from trees. Oxygen is love. Friendship is love. As we love each other we begin to see beauty in everything around us. The energy of love can be stronger than the energy of fear as we learn to grow from all that we are. 

I do not have all the answers, but I do know the difference between what is fear inside me and what is love inside me. Personally, I prefer to love everyone. I prefer to love who I am. To know that even though there is much evil in the world there is also good. I also know that the ultimate thing we are fighting isn't evil vs. good, but love vs. fear. Which is why to me it's interesting how we fear love. Why do we fear love? Because if we haven't embraced the love for ourselves then we do not know what true love is. So, we end up not liking love for others, and not fully understanding it. 

In the end I suppose my point is this... I wish that everyone could have such a good effect on the world that the hearts will be affected. I know that as I continue to learn who I am, and the purpose I have in life I can see my affection for others begin to effect how they interact with me. I love my friends, and I love who I am inside. I hope we all can see that we are each built from love.

   

Salt Lake FanX Comic Con Experience

This is about a couple of months late on the post, but I wanted to post pictures on here from FanX and let everyone know how absolutely awesome it was, and that I plan on going to Comic Con in September. Yep, I'm pretty much a huge nerd!

So, Here are all the pictures from FanX in no particular order: