Influences

Lately I've been thinking tons about how other people continuously are influenced by things around them, and especially people around them. Each person you meet in this world influences you in some way. Even the waiter at the restaurant or the cashier at the grocery store has an influence on your attitude. If you have a waiter that is super rude, and doesn't care about you at all then you are probably going to an awful time at that restaurant. If your cashier is super sweet and helps you in all the best ways possible, and does it with a smile they probably changed your day in some way.

Now, I am going to repeat something that happened about a week ago at church. After church someone asked me if I honestly believe that everyone on this earth could be friends... My answer is and will always be yes. Why it is yes can get extremely complicated and I will try to explain it in the best way I know how...
First, here is what I wrote on facebook about it "Because God made each of us in His own image. He loves each of us the same, and it pains Him when His children don't get along. You may disagree with me if you like, but everyone on this earth has a purpose and every single one of us chose to come here with our brothers and sisters and be there for each other. Sometimes even the strongest soul needs a friend." I would like to add more to that. I want to start by saying that Christ had enemies or people that a normal person would not consider His "friends", but He does say that His friends had betrayed Him. Joseph Smith was told "thou are not yet as Job; thy friends do not contend against thee, neither charge thee with transgression, as they did Job..." The person also asked me if I had any enemies at all, or anyone that hated me. Straight up... YES, I do. Why they hate me? I will never know, but I also see it as their choice. Here's the thing... everyone that enters your life they enter to help you grow in some way.
 Things will continue to happen where people will continuously hurt your feelings, or make you feel like you are unwatned or unacred for. The thing to remember is that God will always love you, and He is the only one that matters...
Now, back to the other thing about how everyone on this earth can be friends. I do not believe in friendships being lost. I believe that we as people lose track of others because we have this "higher than thou" attitude where we think at times we don't need anyone to help us. (That includes God) However, I also believe that even those friends I once had that I don't talk to as much any more, or the people that don't think of me as "their friend"... I consider them my "friends". That being said, I also have a difference between friends and close friends. I guess all around I try to love everyone even if they don't love me.
I know many of these thoughts are super jumbled, but I also want to say that if my grandmother can forgive her exhusband than I can forgive that person that didn't mean to hurt me. Forgiveness is also (in my opinion) an influence that shows love and appreciation for others.

Lastly, I like the message that comes from the movie Frozen in the song "Let It Go"... Even I need to not let so many things bother me so much...

Finding my happy place!!!

The battle of depression is both a blessing and a curse. The key is to find the one thing that will make you smile despite all the dumb stuff that goes on. For me that key is serving others the greatest way I know how. Being a Louisiana girl I know how to cook some dang good food. So... My happy place is listening to some good southern music and cooking food and making the house smell freaking amazing. My happy place is going the extra mile to help others see the good that I see in the world. Yes, this world is cruel and mean and not fun at all, but the Lord loves each of us. When you find your happy place don't let go of it. Don't let others tell you what to do or how to feel. It is all up to you. You are the strongest person in the world. My happy place begins with a smile. It's not a recipe for disaster. It's a recipe of the best feelings you can ever imagine. Grow because of your happy place and affect the world!!!

My happy place isn't just found by serving others though. Sometimes I do need my me time. That comes mostly from the listening to music. When I was younger I would find my happy place in band class. All I had to do was play my trumpet and soon my smile would come back from no where. I could be so upset with people around me, but the minute that mouthpiece hit my lips I was extremely happy. I continued to play trumpet through college, and there was one semester (my last two) where I wasn't able to be in music at all. I noticed that it was extremely hard for me, and I wasn't as happy. I love music. Music is a bit of my life. I don't consider myself a very good musician, but I would rather sit in my room listening to music than go out with friends. And for me being an extrovert that's a pretty huge deal. Music is an influence on everything I do, and I usually can't stand silence. If I am silent and there is no music on then there is most likely something extremely wrong with me.

I encourage everyone to find that one moment, or that one thing that helps you in your hard times. I promise it will help more than you could possibly imagine.

Farewell to my wonderful Grandmother

Jeane Alice Mayhoffer was born 18 November 1921 and died 30 December  2013. She was 92, and lived a life of love and devotion to her family. She was best friends with her mother who I am grateful to be named after. Mae and Jeane would spend times together like two best friends would. My grandmother did not marry my grandfather until she was 41 years old. She immediately became the mother of 3 children. One of which is my mother.
 My grandmother was the most amazing woman I have ever had the chance to meet. Yes, she was my grandmother, but truth is she was my "step-grandma." However, I never called her by that... to me she was always Grandma. When we were little she would always send us the coolest Christmas presents or birthday presents. We would always get a card for nearly every holiday. I remember coming to Colorado and going swimming at her indoor pool. I thought it was the coolest thing ever to go swimming with my cousins. We went to places like Elitches, which is now Six Flags Elitch Gardens... also, we went to the aquarium in denver. She did so much for us that words cannot describe how wonderful she was. She even set up a way to help me pay for college. I am so grateful that she did that because I didn't have to pay off any loans and I left college debt free. She was such a wonderful woman, and never asked for anything in return, but I would never hesitate to give her the world.
   I was fortunate enough to spend some time with her after she hurt her foot a couple of years ago, and it was such a pleasure to tie her shoe, or cook her meals. I helped her get dressed in the morning, and walked her dog. I absolutely loved doing for her because my entire life she always did for us.
   Being mormon I constantly hear all the jokes about polygamy, and to be honest when I was younger I had a problem with people bringing that up, and me knowing that if I died my husband could remarry. However, one day everything clicked for me. I realized that if it weren't for this fact that a man can remarry after the death of his wife I wouldn't have my Grandma Jeane in the next life. I couldn't possibly allow that. So, here's the story... when my mother was 6 years old my biological grandmother (Grandma Kathleen) died from complications in childbirth. This means that when Grandpa passed away he could be sealed to Grandma Kathleen and my mom and her brothers could be sealed to their parents. However, the thought came to me... what about Grandma Jeane? She will be able to be sealed to Grandpa also. This made so much sense to me, and made me extremely happy.

  Now, for those of you who aren't Latter-Day Saint (mormon) the sealing power allows what is bound on earth to be bound in heaven... this means that death cannot break the marriage of a man and a woman through the sealing power.

  One of my favorite memories of my grandmother is from Christmas of 2002. We came up to Colorado, and my grandmother came up to me and handed me a very special gift that was her mother's. As she handed me this music box that was wrapped, and as I opened it my grandmother was crying. I will never forget that my grandmother told me "I think you should have this because you were named after my mother." As I began to cry I stood up and gave my grandma the biggest hug ever!

 I hope to continue to live on her legacy. What a wonderful woman she was, and she was definitely and still is the guardian angel for my entire family.

Obituary of Jeane Alice Mayhoffer

It was my privilege at her funeral to read a poem which my brother wrote for grandma.

"I traveled the world across 92 years
I leave it all now to those I watched grow
The women and men that I leave behind
Are among the best I have known
My life is complete so I'm going home
To save a place for you there with those gone before
Where death ne'er again can divide."- John Edmund Baron

Mayhoffer Family Thanksgiving 2007
Since this picture we have added several more to the family, and I know my grandparents are proud of us all.

My Grandma Christmas 2010.

She was always so happy! :) 

At her funeral we sang: Amazing Grace  and The Lord is My Shepherd. Also, a musical number for Be Still My Soul was done. I know my Grandma is and will always watch out for us. 

Farewell to the most wonderful woman I have ever had the chance to meet. May you find peace and joy until we meet again! :)

Friendship is a Learned Trait

As promised here is the blog all about friendship: Excuse me if I ramble on a bit.

"Friendship is the hardest thing to explain, it's not something you learn in school, But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."

       Friendship for me has always been something that continuously intrigues me. Especially since we are told to love one another and always have a "friend" near by. However, events take place and people move on in their different and hectic lives, but those friends that we can argue with and in the end still be pretty close those are the friends that matter the most.

       When I was young I learned that friends will almost definitely gossip about each other, but the key to whether the friend is real or not is if the things said is in kindness or in anger. That being said I also believe that some gossip can be good. But in my mind it is at that point not gossiping and then called concern. For example, let's use the names Jill & Bob & George. Now, Jill and Bob have gotten into a huge argument and George is having to handle and hear all about it from all side. He consistently hears from both Jill and Bob how much they care about each other, and how important their friendship is to each other. However, George also wants to keep it to himself, and then one day he decides Jill should know that Bob really does care. It is hard for Jill to understand, but in the end when all three of them have discussed things about one another their care for each other grows into a deeper bond. Friendship is an absolute amazing thing.

       Recently I discovered the most beautiful and amazing thing for me. That was realizing that I have a friend that even when I felt like this friend was not listening that the truth was all I needed to do was give things time, and write down all that I needed to say. To sit with this friend as this friend read my letter. The power of words is amazing, and the power that words have written down is even more remarkable. In my mind the written word is sometimes stronger than the vocal word. 

          Friendship is about accepting differences, but being able to tell the truth when the truth is hard to tell. 

         To me respect for each other has always been huge. Especially when one of you knows you must tell the truth even if you are terrified of the consequences...

        Time to get vulnerable: recently I had an argument with a really good friend of mine. For the sake of the innocent names will be left out. It was interesting to see more how I grew from all of it than how my friend is beginning to grow. I learned that in order for myself to say I was a good friend I would have to tell exactly how I felt about a few things, or continue to suffer in the same self-pity party. In all truthfulness my friend knew we had to have a conversation, but the conversation we had my friend was not prepared for. However, with help from my Heavenly Father everything is working out and I am sure in due time it will continue to go forward. 

   This moment in our friendship was probably one of the most influential because even though we had created a bond before it is my firm belief that because of the argument and because we both have been able to tell the absolute truth no matter the consequences the bond was made stronger. I love having friends, and I love learning from them as well. They teach me who I am deep down inside. 

    I love all of these quotes because I love friendships. I love the word friend and what it truly means to me. I love that it is something that not everyone truly understands. When you truly care about someone and you have a certain connection with that person it is so important to be honest and vulnerable. I have also learned that the most important place for boundaries is a friendship. Friendship to me is the guiding factor of all relationships we have in life. Even our enemies we have told at least one thing to in life and there is a reason they are now our "enemy." I love the concept that Christ lived by to love everyone. I love to think that he was everyone's friend. I know he is my friend and I am grateful for that. He has this unconditional love for us all because he went and suffered our pains and afflictions. It's really magnificent to think about. I am so grateful to the friends that have taught me so much. Even to the ones I don't talk to, and probably won't talk to for a long long time. I'm grateful to the friends that so lovingly pushed me to do what is hard and was hard. I know that if I am to continuously be going upward it is through friends that I meet here on earth that I will be able to do this. I love that I have had the privilege of always having siblings because they are truly the greatest friends we could ever ask for. I am also grateful to the few I call my "brothers" or "sisters". My "brothers" are wonderful and I am so glad they have come into my life. With all the arguments, craziness, awkward conversations, and everything that goes on with them I am eternally grateful! There are sooo many quotes on friendship and since I just love them all I am going to post them. I think honestly that it is all more powerful. Each one of these quotes has spoken to my heart, and I pray that it will speak to your's as well. :) I am however, going to probably talk about why each of them speaks specifically to me, and those things I have recently learned. 

   This is soo true. Much of the time we may go through grief in our lives, and friends are there to pick us up and help us become stronger! It is a wonderful feeling when laughter can make the hardest moments some of the most enjoyable moments. 

   This is probably one of the most important lessons to learn and most valuable things to realize. For me personally being from Louisiana having gone to college in Idaho and now living in Utah I have friends from all over the world. I love each of them no matter the distance between us, and I love that with technology it is easier to contact all of them. 

   This happens more often than I sometimes like to admit, but those friendships are probably the most magical I have ever seen. Honestly, in many ways that is how it is with my best friends... especially my best girl friend! She is amazing and I love that we are both sooo different, but yet sooo the same too!

   This is something that is quite often hard. It isn't easy to tell your friend why you are angry or upset. Or that you don't like what is going on because you are afraid that in the end they will get hurt. You love your friends deeply because you've created a special bond, and that moment when you realize that you can be completely honest with them in everything the bond grows stronger. I love that I don't ever have to hold back. It is often hard to say what needs to be said, but I know that I can and that is most important.

   I often wonder what Heaven will be like if we couldn't live with our friends and families. Probably a big reason why I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ so much! Friends are forever and you don't have to speak to them every day to realize that. It is the tiny and small acts of kindness and love and the thoughts that you know are going on that count. I love all of the friends I have ever had especially the ones I don't speak to as much any more. They have shaped who I am today, and who I continue to become.

   I guess I didn't realize how true this statement was until I recently had my argument with my friend. It's interesting how friends can help us see what we already know is true, but yet we hide from the world because we are truly afraid of the image they have for us.

   This is another good quote on forever friends. I am so grateful for them.

    Friends bless our souls with compassion and love that we didn't know possible. Through arguments they teach how to love and grow even more than we thought possible.

    When you have love in a friendship it is more magical than just telling someone you love them because you believe they want to hear it. It is said that you marry your best friend, and I firmly believe that. When you become friends with someone and get to know them your love for them grows as well. It's this everlasting growth that continues to just bond between the two of you, and the compassion you have for each other is a bond that no one will ever be able to break. 

   How appropriate that I end with Mother Theresa. She is such a magnificent woman. Friendship is definitely learned because it takes more than just listening and talking. It takes an argument. It takes hard lessons. It takes a battle between two hearts that are constant for the same goals in life. You are constantly helping them to become "perfect." I truly believe that if we didn't have friends we would all be helpless in this life. Friends are our beacons in life and our constant angels to guide us back to our Heavenly Father. Anyone that knows me knows exactly how religious I am. However, even I sometimes lack faith, but I do know that each one of us will always have at least one friend who will never leave us behind. That friend is Jesus Christ. From all that I know, and everything I continue to learn I am grateful to him for the sacrifice he made to be my friend. He is by far the most amazing friend anyone could ever ask for, and yet he asks for nothing in return. As I grow older I hope to show that same love for my friends as Christ shows for me. I am super grateful to the friends in my life, and the amazing love and support they so continuously have for me. :)

Don't mess with a real Whovian!

This will probably end up being a post just about me ranting on how much I really hate people who don't get it! See, I've been a fan of Doctor Who since I was about 5 years old... which means, I liked it before it was "cool" with my generation! Now, the other point is this... Doctor Who was not playing regularly when I was 5. So, how did I become a fan of it if it wasn't playing? Well, my Father was watching public television one night with my oldest sister and found this show. So, soon we all ended up watching it.. And I hid behind the couch and watched too. :) It soon after that became something all of us kids remember watching with our parents on Saturday nights. Sometimes mom would go to bed, but all kids would still watch it with dad.

Now, I get it the whole "you never forget your first doctor" idea... because I always remember that my first doctor was John Pertwee (I remember because he looked like a gentleman I knew from church). However, it is one thing to never forget your first doctor and quite another thing to whine because you don't truly understand THE DOCTOR! See, The Doctor will always live on... He is not William Hartnell,  Patrick Troughton, John Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, Matt Smith, or Peter Capaldi. All of these men did a wonderful job and continue to do marvelous jobs (yes, I'm including Peter Capaldi in this) of playing the Doctor, but to me The Doctor is my favorite character from my favorite story of all time! All of that being said... To everyone who doesn't want Peter Capaldi because he is "old" I am excited because I will love the doctor no matter who plays him EVER!

So, when speaking of Doctor Who to me you better be a real fan and not just talk about how much you miss David Tennant or that you couldn't stand Christopher Eccleston! It doesn't matter what you think! What matters is if the actor did a good job at playing the Doctor, and if his name is known as THE DOCTOR somewhere in time then of course HE did a good job! :)

YES! I AM A REAL WHOVIAN!