So, all day I pretty much talked to my cousin about some things. It's hard to be able to tell one of your best friends in the whole wide world that you can't really be their friend any more, but at the same time if it's what you need to do to help yourself then... it's probably for the best. People see that you are hurting, but no one truly knows the pain that creeps inside of you. The truth of everything is that you don't even know why you are in pain. Your heart is hurting, and you really are unsure as to why. I've had a crush on Kevin Elkins for about 2 years now, and now it seems like it's all changing for me... I don't really feel the way I once did. I guess I'm seeing everything in a new light now... I'm not really sure. I do know that in many ways I am falling for someone I shouldn't be and that's Brian. Brian Christensen has become an amazing friend to me, and I have been trying to fight my feelings for him, but it's so hard to do. Today I talked (texted) Edward (my cousin) about it a bit, and I learned several things. I was also talking to Jason Giles (Bonnie's husband), and I just don't know what I am going to do about all of this. I'm not in the mood to really talk to Brian, but at the same time I want to because truly I am going to miss him tons this summer. I feel like Brian sees nothing in me, and that I'll only ever be his friend... to me right now that hurts. I mean he's truly a sweet guy, but I just don't know any more why I have to be the one that suffers and likes him like this. It sucks a ton! I'm not sure where to go, and sometimes even who to turn to, but oh well. I'm not even sure what else to say right now except goodnight & here is a song that has been running through my head nonstop. Enjoy!
This might come as quite a shock,
But I've given it a lot of thought.
This thing that's come between us can't be ignored.
I've taken all I can;
This is where it's gotta end.
'Cause I can't be your friend anymore.
An' I can't be accused,
Of not bein' there for you.
How many nights have you shown up at my door?
I hope you understand,
That this wasn't in my plans,
But I can't be your friend anymore.
An' it's killin' me to know you,
Without havin' a chance to hold you.
An' all I wanna do is show you,
How I really feel inside.
You can run to me,
You can laugh at me,
Or you can walk right out that door.
But I can't be your friend anymore.
So, baby, now it's up to you:
Do I win or do I lose?
Will my heart fly or lie broken on the floor.
Well, take me as I am,
'Cause I wanna be your man.
But I can't be your friend anymore.
An' it's killin' me to know you,
Without havin' a chance to hold you.
An' all I wanna do is show you,
How I really feel inside.
You can run to me,
You can laugh at me,
Or you can walk right out that door.
But I can't be just friends anymore.
We can't be just friends anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment