Cruising around

WE FINALLY GOT OUR HONEYMOON!

So, let's start by telling a quick background... Since I was in the hospital last June (2016), and diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure Jordan and I were not able to go on our planned honeymoon cruise, and thus had to give it to his parents as their 25th Wedding Anniversary. YAY & BOO! However, the biggest gift Jordan surprised me with at Christmas was telling me that we would be going on a cruise to the Bahamas and leaving out of New Orleans! YAY!!!!!! So, on April 7, 2017 after school got out Jordan and I made our way from Salt Lake City, UT to New Orleans, LA. We got to stop at my brother's in Texas which was way nice to be able to see him. Then, we stayed the night with the Britt's (who my family has known forever), and it was nice to have them meet Jordan. Then we went over to Shelby's (my bff of forever) the next day, and she took us to New Orleans. The line to get on the cruise ship took FOREVER! I'll spare you the details of some of the other things from getting on the ship. So, by about 3:30pm April 9, 2017 we were on the Carnival Dream! And getting ready to head on our cruise. I was in awe of how HUGE the ship was... IT WAS MASSIVE! Technically there were like 13 floors if you include floor 0... and two pools and SEVERAL hot tubs! Seriously, it was huge! Our first few hours spent on the ship I was just getting fascinated at how big it was. At about 6pm that evening we set sail down the Mississippi River and made our way to Key West, Florida... it took basically the entire night just to get the mouth of the Mississippi... I guess I forgot how long it was/is. That River be HUGE! 

Monday, April 10, 2017 we spent the day in the Gulf of Mexico traveling to Key West, Florida. That day was so fun exploring the ship and planning our days ahead. That night was First Cruise Elegant on the ship and if you've seen some of those pics on Facebook this was the one where I had on the black and white dress. It was so much fun to dress up and look super cute just for dinner. I LOVED THE FOOD! Oh my goodness... the food on this ship was the best food ever, and I've been looking at recipes of different things ever since! Yeah... cruise ships and their food= YUM! 

So, then on April 11, 2017 we arrived in Key West around 8am or so... Jordan and I had no real clue about what we wanted to do that day, but even though it was hard walking around loads and I got tired... I still had fun. We had chocolate dipped key lime pie on a stick. Jordan also bought me Salt & Pepper Shakers! He's the best husband ever! We went to the aquarium... which was okay, but not the coolest, and then outside the aquarium we saw this HUGE manatee that just decided to hang out a bit. It was really cool! Then back to the ship and we set sail again by about 3pm. 

On our way to Freeport, Bahamas it was. So, we decided when we got to Freeport we go see Dolphins. Jordan found out about these dolphin encounters and he wanted to do that for me cause he's the best and knows how much I like Dolphins. So, we got off the ship in Freeport, and then took a taxi to Port Lucaya where we got off and then walked a very short way to the dolphin encounter place. We then waited for the boat to take us to the spot where the dolphins were. When we got there I didn't see the dolphins at first, and then they started showing up. I was soooo excited! We got to pet the dolphins and get a kiss from them! :) Then as we were leaving we got a bird put on our heads. SO FUNNY! Then we took the boat back to Port Lucaya, and then the Taxi back toward the ship (this is about the time it started to RAIN!). It rained and rained and rained and rained. Anyways, we bought a few souvenirs in Freeport and then got back on the ship. And by about 3pm we were on our way to Nassau, Bahamas.

We arrived in Nassau around 7am the next day, and I really wanted to go to the Water Park you hear about on TV (Atlantis). IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! We went down the BIG slide, and I screamed my head off while Jordan laughed. I should have gone on this other one Jordan wanted to, but for some reason I let my fears get to me. Anyways, we had so much fun, and I got very burnt! OH MY GOODNESS the lazy river isn't lazy at all it was a Rapids River, and it was loads of fun! Like the best thing in the entire world. SO MUCH FUN! 

Then after we left there it was on our way back to New Orleans... took from Thursday night to Sunday Morning to get back, but it was FUN! I want to go on another cruise cause it's fun to go other places, and explore. I'm going to add a few pics (the ones from my phone...) Hope you enjoy!

Oh! One last thing... when we got back to Utah my surgical wound from having a defribulator put inside me started to open as soon as we got back to Utah so, now I'm going to wound care... NO biggie. :)

Our Safety Net

When we found out last year about my heart condition, and as I've begun to learn more about it the more I've had to come to terms with something known as a Pacemaker. When we went to the doctor in January for my Echo cardiogram checkup we discovered that my heart was still not working as it should. My left ventricle is pumping at about 17%. A normal person's heart pumps between 40-60% I'm currently on medication to slow my heart beat cause my heart decides to over compensate for the pumping so it beats extremely fast. Well, since my heartbeat isn't normal and my heart isn't pumping right I now have to get what is called a Sub-Q ICD. This is a defibrillator that they out inside on the side of your rib cage under the breast tissue. The safety net is in case my heart decides at any moment that it doesn't want to work as it should, or if it decides to stop it will shock me and my heart will begin to pump properly. The pictures attached are where my device will be, and the actual definition of a pace maker.

I would show an image of what the scars will look like, but I feel like if you want to look that up you can find that information on your own. It is a tad disturbing.

The other part of having this surgery for me comes from the fact that I will have Parent Teacher Conferences the next week, and this means I won't have too much time off of work. I've considered maybe taking a day, but I really don't know how I will feel. All of this is super new to me, and also very scary! I'm glad I have Jordan to support me so very much, and this week was nice when I got to speak with my dad and sister, but I'm still scared to have this surgery and that's probably why I don't post about it very much, and unless you are family or I speak to you on a regular basis, or you work at my school you really have no clue of the seriousness of what I deal with.


When I look back on my life I wonder what I did to deserve this type of thing happen to me, and I often will ask myself "WHY ME?" And then my heart is softened by the fact that sometimes people have it a billions times harder, or to be thankful that I live in a day where they can perform a surgery and be kind about it, and they know now more what they are doing than ever before.

Over everything I feel blessed. Jordan is the sweetest and I'm eternally grateful for him and all that he does for me, and for our family (even if that family is just me and him).

I'll ask for your prayers as I approach this extremely scary journey!


Jordan got me this big picture for the wall!

A HEARTFUL 2016

As 2016 comes to a close I can't help, but think about all the many challenges that were brought my way, and yet all the wonderful events that happened as well.

The year began with a wonderful New Year's kiss from the man I ended up marrying in 2016. Did I know that a few events would have a ripple effect into my happily ever after? NOPE!

This wonderful moment soon resulted in Jordan asking me to be his girlfriend. A few months went on, and much to my surprise he had been picking out a ring and was preparing to ask me to marry him. 

And so he did... right in front of the DOCTOR and RIVER SONG! Yes, that's probably better than any proposal I could have thought of in my head! The events of that day were perfect, and it was... EASTER weekend which is my favorite holiday. 

But then... sadness began... My sister's cat that we had in the family FOREVER passed away... :( It was absolutely a heart wrenching thing to have to go through for my sister, and I hope she knows how much we miss the Shelly Kitty. 

Next came my birthday and my mom found out that she needed a heart valve replacement, and I started getting really sick (very slowly). 29 is a weird age... but Jordan made it a fun one. He took me to a Japaneese type steak house.. YUM YUM!

June meant one month until our wedding and the stress began to pile on. I was interviewing for jobs, and Jordan was super good about helping to get things done, but then at the end of the month the scariest moment I have ever had to experience happened to me. I was hospitalized for Congestive Heart Failure. Come to find out later I have cardiomyopathy and have probably had it my entire life (reason why it's hard for me to keep weight off). With my family, Jordan, Jordan's family, and several friends praying for me I pulled through and got out of the hospital exactly one week before marrying Jordan. 

On July 8, 2016 I married the greatest man I have ever met! He really takes the sickness and health thing to a whole new level... He is ALWAYS aware of how I feel. He is absolutely wonderful! And I am so glad I met him and married him. 

I know 2017 will bring new challenges to our small little family, but I wouldn't want to spend my eternity with anyone else! So, here are a few things I know I'll be experiencing in 2017... I'll finish my first year of teaching ( I started a fulltime teaching job in August 2016). I'll have more experiences figuring out what is going on with my heart. I'll forever experience those challenges. Jordan and I will get to go on a cruise. And he will always be my forever guy. So, moral of my entire blog is some people may absolutely hate 2016, but I think I'll forever be grateful for it! Yes, tons of happened that absolutely SUCKED, but I have to be thankful for finally getting a solid diagnosis on my health! 

SO HERE'S TO THE NEW YEAR FROM THE LARRABEES!!!!!

Living with Cardiomyopathy

About a month ago I returned to Cardiac clinic to find out my official diagnosis is two types of Cardiomyopathy. 
Dilated Cardiomyopathy which is: is a condition in which the heart's ability to pump blood is decreased because the heart's main pumping chamber, the left ventricle, is enlarged and weakened. In some cases, it prevents the heart from relaxing and filling with blood as it should.
Left Ventricle NonCompaction Cardiomyopathy: (LVNC) is a newly recognized form of cardiomyopathy still in the early phases of medical understanding. Also known as “isolated non-compaction of the left ventricular myocardium” or “spongiform cardiomyopathy,” it is primarily caused by the abnormal embryonic development of the heart muscle.

My heart is amazing some days, and other days I get really tired and things lead to me not wanting to do much.

A Heart Journey

Two weeks ago I married Jordan Tyler Larrabee. It would be quite odd if I didn't say that getting to that point was the hardest road I've ever taken. And from now on will still be hard. Why you ask? Well, let me take you on a little journey called my health.

About a month ago I began to feel really sick and tired all the time. But as per usual I started to blame it on wedding stress. However, it continued to get worse. Four weeks ago I was throwing up every day. My body couldn't keep a single thing down. It was awful. I hurt so bad, and couldn't explain exactly why. People continued to ask me questions about the wedding and I couldn't answer them because my thoughts were lost. My body actually would not think. My memory started fading and all I wanted to do was sleep all day in a little ball. On June 26th I was at my new place where my now husband was already living, and I felt a stabbing pain in my back... I couldn't move. (this was the second time this happened). Jordan had had enough of me feeling like this. And called my mom... and took me to urgent care. They did an x-ray of my chest and saw that my heart looked like it was enlarged, and advised me to go to my doctor first thing the next day. I did. My doctor ordered me a CT scan at LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City that afternoon. He also took more blood from me, but my veins were beginning to not show in my arms so it hurt badly. That afternoon my PCP called me after my CT scan while I was still at the hospital. He told me that my heart did not look good and I should admit myself to the ER right away. Both of my parents and Jordan were there to help admit me. The doctor in the ER was confident I'd be out in a couple of hours because I was so young. However, a few hours later they had done an ecocardiogram, and the news was not good. I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, and would be admitted to Intermountatin Medical Center in Murray, Utah. By this point when he gave us the news Jordan's parents were there too. My dad, Jordan, and my Father-in-law all gave me a priesthood blessing, and I am CONFIDENT if not for that blessing I wouldn't have the faith to keep going every day.
It was around 12am or later before we finally left LDS hospital (doctors had to talk to doctors and nurses to nurses). We journeyed over to IMC and when we got there they put me in a room and a hospital gown. A week before I was to marry Jordan I was sitting in the hospital not knowing what was going on. they kept me talking and continued to listen to how I was breathing. The ecocardiogram showed them that I had fluid built up around my heart. My tricuspid and mitral valve had regurgitation (blood is flowing back into my heart instead of it all going out). My heart is pumping at about 18% (a normal heart pumps at 50-70%.) Because of this my heart is pumping faster. A normal heart rate is 60-70 resting... mine most of the time is 90-100 resting or higher... so I can exercise and my heart rate will bounce up to 140. It's really scary at times.  So, I was now a patient in the hospital. I have congestive heart failure.... that's not something you hear a 29 year old female having. The next morning I was scheduled for a MRI... they are not joking when they ask if you are claustrophobic... those things be scary! I would have to take deep breaths as they told me... I was very grateful for my days as a trumpet player... I was also grateful I wasn't as bad off as other people they had going in there... I could stand up and down on my own, and I only got wheeled in a wheelchair...Also, I should add... when I was admitted to the hospital I was pale white! They immediately gave me lasix (which is basically a drug that makes you pee... ALL THE TIME!) The next day I was looking better... especially after my MRI and when I finally had real food for the first time in a couple of weeks.  I also started meeting doctors and many people that would be there to help me. My doctor Dr. Afshar has been amazing and I am so grateful for him, and the knowledge he has.
The next day they ordered me to have an angiogram ( they stick a tube through the artery in your neck on the right side and in your right wrist) it stings. I was familiar with this test because my mom had previously had it done. I didn't want bruises cause I was so concerned about my wedding. Oh, I should also make it known that EVERYONE KNEW I WAS GETTING MARRIED. It was on my chart! :)   In the angiogram my arteries showed that they were clear as day! I get that from my momma :)! Thank goodness too because otherwise I would have been moved and prepped for immediate surgery. I'm glad that didn't happen.
Again by the time that was done I got to eat! Let's just say the meals at the hospital in the cardiac department ARE AMAZING! I was drilled on this thing called MAWDS it's their system to help cardiac patients stay on track it stands for Medication, Activity, Weight, Diet, Symptoms.... I finally got discharged on Friday, July 1st! With 4 different medications and the advisement to call my PCP and let him know everything and to get a birth control shot. I mean... I was getting married in a week!

So, my life now... well, let's start with that week after... On Tuesday, July 5th I saw my PCP and let him know everything. Also, that day my BFF came to town. Everyone was helping me get ready for the wedding and I am so grateful for that! Wednesday, July 6th... I woke up to find out my sister-in-laws brother had passed away... My thoughts and prayers are with them every day. Also, Wednesday I went to get my nails done with Shelby... I nearly passed out at the end cause my heart rate shot up and my potassium levels went down... luckily it was at walmart and they immediately got bananas and had some water for me to sip. They also helped slow my hear rate... My mom says I had a real Shelby from Steel Magnolias moment. I was terrified. I still am. I was supposed to have a bachelorette party that night. I had to cancel it cause I  couldn't go out.

So, let's back track a little bit. Every night I was in the hospital Jordan slept there... he could not leave my side (it was adorable). And every morning my dad came to help me through the day. on my last night there Jordan needed to go to the temple ( he badly needed it). So, he went. And my sister Jeane stayed with me... Since it was almost July we decided to watch 1776... Let's also add that the next day I was antsy to get out of there!

I am so grateful! Okay, back to wedding week! Day of wedding was gloroius! My Dad gave me an amazing blessing. See, right now I can't have kids cause it would put WAY too much strain on my heart. But he blessed me that one day I would be able to.

Moral of this story is things are a bit rougher than Jordan and I originally planned, but it'll all be worth it. I will Rise and I will continue to be better.