Melancholy

     I've been thinking for awhile now of how to write out in words exactly how I'm feeling with everything that has been happening around me in the world, and with ones that I feel close to. It's crazy how one circumstance can shake you to the very core even when all year you have in a sense been scared for your own health. I think the best way to describe all that I'm feeling is a sense of Melancholy. It's a type of sadness where I don't exactly feel empty inside and I know I'll get through it, but I worry about others around me, and how they are feeling. Now, some of you may be wondering what the heck is she talking about? Well, for the few of you that actually read this blog I'll tell you. 

    On November 1st we witnessed what was probably something that could rock you to the core. Our neighbor who we were just getting to know passed away, and as we watched the events unfold, and found out from his wife it rocked us pretty hard. It isn't fun to lose someone so more than anything we decided that we would be there for her if she needed us, and so we have been. If she wants brownies GOSH DARN IT I'M MAKING BROWNIES to take over to her. I want her to know how much we care about her, and how much we cared about her husband. It's truly hard to watch someone you care about hurt like that, and knowing that you just barely were getting the chance to know someone. 

    Well, as things go life moves on right?! Well, On November 8th Jordan and I were doing our Sunday church as we have done during this whole pandemic, and yet again something happened to rock us. We have some friends that have been living with us over the past couple of years. These friends have three cats and a lizard. While the cats stay mostly in their room the lizard was out in the open in his cage where others could see him, and where we could see him as we came out of our room. By the way, this isn't your ordinary lizard. Reptar (his name) is a Savannah Monitor. So, he can get pretty big. Well, on that Sunday we heard a noise which prompts us to immediately go check on Reptar, and we found him bloated and not moving. Well, we and our friends mourned over the loss of this poor reptile whom we all cared about. And then I asked our friend if he would like to bury him in the garden, and so we did. I'm so tired of loss it aches me. 

    That very afternoon we were able to have my family over to celebrate my mother's upcoming birthday. It was a nice little gathering of the family here in Utah, and it was nice just to be with each other without worrying too much on the craziness that is happening in the world right now. It was nice to just be a family.

    And lastly this past week. For the first time in over two months I finally had the chance to work again for a couple of hours twice. And will work a few days next week. And through all the hardships and everything I am grateful that I still have a job. I'm grateful to be here. I'm grateful I can serve those around me, and even though it's hard being stuck inside all the time. I'm grateful I have a home to be stuck inside. 

    I pray for each of you this holiday season. I pray everyone will be okay. And I leave you with a song by the Gorillaz and a message of hope and peace from a Prophet of God Russel M. Nelson. May these things bring you peace as we approach the holiday season. #givethanks 

On Melancholy Hill-Gorillaz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04mfKJWDSzI

Message from President Nelson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlcILxGmVrI

The COVID contiues

As I begin let me state that Jordan and myself have been very blessed to not contract this dumb virus. However, let me also say how sick of it I truly am. 

Things began to shut down back in March... as I waited to hear what would happen with work every day I would go in hoping and praying that the virus would not be there at work. Well, on March 18th I woke up at 3:30 am with severe back pains. And then at 7:30 that morning we had an earthquake. So, at 8 I called the doctor, and they told me to go to the ER. Well, come to find out luckily it was just due to stress, and nothing was wrong with me. AWESOME! However, that is the day I began to work from home. 

I have been working home for five months now. It is so crazy how time continues to go by, and some days are definitely better than others. I wish I could go to the store and be normal, but with so many people inside stores and COVID spreading like crazy (even though some people thought the warmer weather would make it go away) I find myself continuously at home just trying to do my work and be a good house wife, but not going to the store or many other places. I try to exercise (I need to be better about this), I make dinner almost every night, and I try my hardest to keep up on the household chores (i.e: Laundry and dishes). Overall, I can't complain too much with my own personal life.

Now, the rest of the world makes me want to scream. I know people who have gotten COVID, and I also know people that say they will never wear a mask, and the government can't make them! WTF?! Okay, for real though... WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE THIS ABOUT POLITICS!??? Why is everything always about politics? It's really frustrating that people can't just agree to disagree. 

I guess that's something different though. See, I'm considered to be a high risk individual... No, I'm not over the age of 60, but I am more at risk to get this stupid virus and die from it than my parents are, and they are in their late 60s.  Having heart disease makes me more at risk than the average human being. So, Jordan and I (and everyone around me) has to be more cautious. OR at least everyone that comes around me should be more cautious. Needless to say, I hate this dumb virus and have hated it from day one when it was in China. 

Well, as Covid decides it wants to continue on I am consistently reminded of how God is constantly protecting me, and watching out for me. He knows more than the rest of us, and for that I am forever thankful.

I know a ton of this was rambling, but sometimes I have to say things that I can't on social media. So, there it goes... I'm still for the most part constantly quarantined to my house. I miss going to the store with Jordan just to get groceries. I am thankful we were able to go to a cabin for our anniversary even if if it was only for a little while. 

A Very Quarantined Birthday

So, my birthday was yesterday, and for the most part we are all still quarantined to our houses. Things have let up a little bit so we were able to see some family, but not enough for there to be any big significant changes. That being said I am so grateful to my husband and both of our families in working hard to make my day special. I love my family, and I just wish this quarantine stuff wasn't so strange for us all. Well, enjoy about a billion pics I took over the weekend. We've also been working on our backyard so, there's that too. Oh, and we watched a new friend this weekend. So, there's some puppy pics too.