Life is not easy, but it is worth it.

So, a couple of months ago I mentioned that I had gotten a new job, and Jordan had switched to a new shift at work. Well, things for me didn't work out, and I found myself again needing a new job. I contacted my former boss at Sylvan and was immediately hired. It's not perfect, but it'll do for now. But life isn't easy, every time you turn something happens that lays you flat and it's hard, but I'm grateful for all the many blessings I have, and the opportunities that I have in life. I don't post a ton about my life these days. I also certainly don't let everyone know what is always going on, or the hurt I feel inside. People always think they understand mine and Jordan's whole not being able to have a child, but they don't. I was just speaking with my mom about this... People always turn to infertility, but my issue is definitely not that... I mean... if God allowed I could have a kid, but God doesn't allow that right now. My heart isn't strong enough, and I'm getting there, but it will take a bit. Well, I don't know what else to say, or what else I want to say. BUT I do know I'm grateful for Jordan and how much he means to me despite our troubles that we go through. Enjoy some pics of our crazy life together.

confessions of how we met

So, I don't know if I'll publish this one on facebook, but I feel like now that we've been married for 3 years, and since we will be together forever that I don't exactly mind people knowing our whole story.

A few years ago ( I don't remember exactly how many) I met this guy named Ricky Ferlin and became pretty good friends with him. Well, he knew I really loved animals, and eventually introduced me to the world of furries. Which was kinda cool, and I started to think if I was an animal what would I be? Well, then one day after Ricky and Charlotte were married Ricky tells me he's going to a furry convention. I'm thinking... okay... cool. And he started making his own furry costume. So, that's kind of how I got into all of this furry stuff...

Now at the same time Ricky was doing all this Jordan had met a kid named Brian. Brian was also a furry, and invited Jordan to go to the same convention Ricky went to. NONE of them knew each other. In the end they all started to become friends and hang out. Well, one day I see this crazy kid Jordan (or JoJo as they all called him) at Ricky and Charlotte's house. I was intrigued by him, but meh.

Well, a couple of weeks later they all came to an improv show that Ricky was in and that I was getting tickets for. Well, JoJo just couldn't stop talking to me and he wore a tail the entire time. I was REALLY intrigued by him this time and him by me. We were both acting out of the normal. Well, soon that led to both of us asking Ricky if it was okay for us to converse with each other, and soon we started talking loads and wanting to hang out with each other more and more. As soon as we had our first date we were both kinda hooked, but it wasn't until Jordan realized he didn't want to date anyone else that we really started to blossom. All in all this brings me to more about me and JoJo... because we really met due to this furry fandom it's become a part of our lives. From going to conventions and really helping with the Utah convention which Jordan is a the co-chair of. I feel that because of this we've been able to meet more people from all over the world and all walks of life.

At first I was skeptical of the entire thing, but I'm getting better and I really love everyone I've met through it. I've begun to have some really great friends again in my life, and since graduating college that's been rough. I'm truly grateful for the way Jordan and I met. It's nice to have so many things in common and I feel it keeps us close as a couple, and as our friend circles increase it is even more wonderful for us. Here are some pics from this past weekend that I took either of my dogs at home, Jordan doing lights, or just hanging out with friends. We had loads of fun, but we're glad to be home with our pups too.

New job and rehab!

So, I've kinda been keeping this quiet, but I've been in training the past month for a new job, and I'm super excited to be starting soon. I will be teaching English to people in Indonesia. I won't make as much as I did teaching in the classroom, but I feel like this has been a good move. I'm also going to be starting cardiac rehab again, and I'm excited to get my weight down and my heart strengthened. I will always Bea heart failure patient, but the goal is to manage the heart and try to keep it pumping daily. Wish me luck on my newest adventures. I'm so glad Jordan and I experience life together!

Always new adventures

Wow! It has been a long time since I posted, but I figured everyone needed an update. In February of this year I had the feeling I should resign at my job as an Elementary teacher in West Jordan, Utah. It was a decision that needed to be made since sometimes I feel like things weren't perfect while there, and I felt under appreciated more than I wanted to. It wasn't a feeling I could shake, and the more it happened the more I health started to decline again. In fear of ending up in the hospital again I had to make a decision. This does create quite the hard life for us. We have had just enough to pay our mortgage payments and bills, and now we both fear the future of if we will have enough or not. In June as I began looking for new work I found this company that teaches English online from your home to kids and adults in Indonesia! WOOHOO! So, for the past month I have been training for this new job, and I am both nervous and excited. The downside is I won't be making nearly what I was making teaching (we po!) I must say I am grateful for all that we have, and hope to be able to continue to keep it all. On another note: Jordan keeps applying for higher positions at work, and someone just barely beats him out for the position. I'm hoping a new opportunity comes up soon and he gets it. That would make me so happy!


VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED!!!!!!!
Medical life: So besides all the new job for me stuff medical stuff has been so crazy! In March I made the decision to switch birth control. I wanted to try out the IUD route. I had to wait until my period came (June) to get it put in. So, this last month I got an IUD and it was HELL! I hated it so much. It ended up moving and going into my cervix and since I'm on a blood thinner I bled a ton! So, all in all I ended up getting it removed and it inflamed my cervix. So, I got back on the IUD. Next month I will be visiting a high risk obgyn to discuss other options for birth control and our future as far as my heart and having a child in the future. As far as Jordan goes... in March he began to experience a ton of pain in his abdomen. He ended up getting a kidney stone, and his rectum continued to be in pain. He would explain to me that it would hurt to go to the bathroom. So, we continued to try and get him more fiber and try to heal him. Nothing seemed to work. About a week ago he ended up having a colonoscopy where we have now discovered that his intestine keeps slipping into his rectum. We don't know if he will need surgery or not. We did end up buying him a squatty potty, but hoping that everything works out.



All in all with all that has gone on we have celebrated as much as we can birthdays and our anniversary. It's crazy to think we have been married for three years. Sometimes it feels so much longer, and other times it feels like so much less time. If you have any questions please feel free to ask. Also, please check out my other blogs. I'm looking into trying to keep everything up to date as much as I can. I'll be working nights soon so, that will change some things. GOD BLESS!