You've Got a Friend In Me

If there is anything I've learned over the past few years it is the importance of friendship. There are moments in life when it comes clear that we have met someone for a very important purpose. At the first encounter we aren't always certain why we have met these people, but given time we can usually decipher certain reasons why. Recently I've been able to advise friends and while advising them I've found purpose in what I've said and how it can relate to myself. My last post I talked about how no man is a failure who has friends. I've learned not only within the last year, but especially in the last week how important friendship is. Because here's the thing... as you start to realize the importance of friendship and what it means to talk things out... life in general becomes extremely clear. You realize that everyone in your life is there for all the reasons. On New Year's Eve I spent time just chilling with friends. It was the most beautiful thing ever. Sometimes you need a friend to help you see the light. Speaking of light... have you ever experienced what happens when you realize how beautifully important you are in not only in someone else's life,  but just your own. It's a feeling of love and devotion to all that is around you. When you learn to love yourself loving others becomes a bit easier. You start to see the importance and beauty of life as you see yourself as you see others. There's that golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Or... "Love others as you love yourself." Loving yourself becomes magical when  you realize that you are the most important person in your life.  At first this could be a very scary moment, but then you realize how perfectly magical it is. Occasionally you are able to see yourself in a light you didn't know was possible. You are able at this point to look at yourself in the mirror and just love who you see.

So, "when the road looks rough ahead and your miles and miles from a nice warm bed just remember what your old pal said, bow you've got a friend in me."

I started this blog about a month ago, and I never finished it because I wasn't exactly sure how. I think I needed to see even more clearly why I have the close friends that I do. It isn't every day that you can meet people who you can connect with always. I love that about friendship.

No Man Is a Failure Who Has Friends

"No man is a failure who has friends." -Clarence in It's a Wonderful Life

This year I've learned this to be extremely true. On December 30, 2013 as many know my Grandmother passed away, but that started an entire year of death, trials, heartbreak, successes, failures, and a long journey to find happiness in even those things that are so mundane to many. 

I suppose the best thing to call it is My wonderful life. 

There is something that since the time of Adam & Eve happens to each of us. That thing is known as death. It's something that we all know will one day happen to each of us, but we all are secretly afraid of it. Especially, if it's one of our loved ones that dies. Now, when death occurs we mostly want our friends and family there for us. And I've discovered that one of the worst possible things to say is "I'm sorry for your loss" Okay... you have sympathy for the fact that I just lost a loved one, but WHY do you say that? Now the description of Death from dictionary.com is rather interesting "the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of anorganism."

Death is something that has happened far too often throughout one's life. Just this year in my family there were 4 deaths, and just after Grandma Jeane's funeral last January my mom and I went to two more. All year long it's been this journey between life and death. I think after my Grandma passed away I went into a really long coma where I didn't want to talk to very many people about it. It kind of allowed me to help my family when my other Grandma passed away in August. However, nothing could have possibly prepared me for the death of my cat in October. Once her kidneys failed she decided to give up on life. She looked like she would pull through, but as much as a human can get a kidney transplant our animals cannot. 




Jeane Alice Mayhoffer passed away December 30, 2013. On December 31, 2013 I traveled to Colorado for a funeral. I heard once that how you spend New Year's Eve is how you will spend much of your year. I spent my New Year going to a funeral. Much of the year I experienced death. It was an enormous learning experience for me.



The next death that hit me pretty hard was my cat, Maria.She was having seizures and I didn't like seeing her suffer. Before Maria passed my Grandma Baron passed away in August. So, it was definitely a year of death for me, but the thing I noticed is there was usually a friend that I could talk to. I remember clearly when my cat passed away a dear friend of mine let me cry on his shoulder. There's something about our animals that just connects to our hearts, and only another animal lover can understand.



Truth: I wrote a longer blog about all of this but it got deleted.:( so, this is the shorter version.

End of story is just this. NO MAN IS A FAILURE WHO HAS FRIENDS. I love my friends. Especially those that probably don't realize just how much they've done so much for me.

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

Maria Baron 1998-October 1, 2014

Let me take you on a little journey of a precious little kitten that turned into one of my greatest friends!
In 1998 there was a litter of kittens left outside the LDS church in Denham Springs, Louisiana. As each kitten one by one was taken home my brother rescued this poor kitten from underneath the stage. After asking our Bishop what we should do we ended up taking her home. We built this cardboard box with a shoe box inside as a litter box so we could teach her how to use it. My brother,  David taught her. We kept trying to find a home for her in Denham and Walker and yet... the vet had no home for her. So, eventually we ended up having to board her with our Dog (Thorn) and our other cat (Shelly).We had already started calling her Maria because my mom had the song from Sound of Music pop into her head... "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" Soon we ended up keeping her, and she became my kitty. She slept in my room at night, and I had a shoe rack on the door... so, I quite often got the wake up call with her climbing up the door. However, way back then... Shelly wanted nothing to do with her. So, she started following Thorn around the house. She came to a whistle, she came to the sound of food, and she stayed by the window and waited for mom to come home with him. One of her favorite spots to sleep back then was in between my legs! She would often get into little fights with other cats (except Shelly). Shelly mostly ignored her. BUT I have stories... The way my bed was at one point is that it was right underneath the window with a headboard where Maria could get up to the window sill and look out... Quite often you could hear feral cats yowling outside the window. .. This would tick Maria off, and one night she had a fight through the window and ended up falling backwards right on top of my head! It was a very good thing that it was the one time she didn't land feet first because my head would have been scratched. After that I kept her calm when I heard those cats. There was another time where Shelly got involved... My brother told me this story where Shelly was the middle cat. He watched as he heard this cat fight in the backyard in our big gardenia bush, and he saw Shelly run in... then he saw Maria run out, another cat come out, and then Shelly came out. Shelly always ended up defending Maria outside of the house even though it seemed like inside she didn't care about her. They became buddies... Especially, after Thorn passed away. So, How do you solve a problem like Maria? YOU LOVE HER TO THE VERY END! THAT'S HOW!

I AM MORMON

So, I am going to start this blog off with the exact thing I said, and the quote from Elder Oaks that I put up on Facebook recently.
"I'm not 100% sure as to why, but lately I've been confronted about my religion and my faith in God. I'd like to clear a few things up. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Which means, yes, I am Mormon. I am proud of this fact. I will never leave the Gospel of Jesus Christ and all that I know to be true. I took a world religions class in college, and I've always remembered what that professor said to us. First, "if you are in this class to bash any other religion or anyone else's faith get out of my class because that is not what we are here to do." Second, "this class is designed to help you embrace all truths. Other religions and faiths have truth in them. There is no reason you should ever condemn any truth from anyone." 
As I've gotten older and realized that it's been 5 years since I took that class I see truth all around me, and I also see non-truths all around me.
I don't care your faith, your religion, or what you believe in. I will love everyone, and I will not condemn anyone for their wrong doings. It is not my place to judge you. Nor is it yours to judge me. I go to the temple often to contemplate on all that I have going on in my life. I also meditate, read scriptures, my patriarchal blessing, and find articles that I often question and seek truth from.
I know who I am. I know God's plan for me, and I know the purposes of my life and existence here in this mortal life."

Now, all of that being said I would like to go into a little story about who I am, and why no matter what I will never leave the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I had the pleasure of being born into a family that is LDS. My mom grew up Catholic, and my dad has been a member his entire life. Both of my parents instilled in each of us the importance of the Gospel and going to church and above all else to be worthy to attend the temple. At the age of 8 years old I was baptized and I knew the importance of the covenant I was making at the time with my Father in Heaven. I knew that at that moment I was taking upon myself the Name of Christ, and that the Holy Ghost would be a constant companion to me throughout my life. I was grateful that my parents had taught me the importance of this ordinance because it would help me later in life to stay consistently righteous and become who I know I am. As I got older I noticed I had more friends outside of the LDS church than inside. I never once judged any of those friends. However, as I entered Young Women I was the one to be judged because I didn't go to mutual when it was on Tuesday night because I had football games to go to, or as I got into high school and I didn't go to an activity on a Saturday because I had a competition for band. And the best was when I went to church in one of the other wards with my dad, and sometimes even attended 6+ hours of church, and got chastised for not being at certain meetings. Yeah, I made sacrifices, but I also learned that at the end of everything who I am is because of all the choices I have made to this point in my life. Some of my favorite experiences have been when people in my school classes would realize I was Mormon, and ask me the 50 question relay. 

Now, it was't exactly 50 questions, but some of my favorite stories were about polygamy. Even into high school having friends that I'd known FOREVER asked me if Mormons practiced polygamy. Funny thing is that it only offended me because they had known me my whole life, but I'd always answer anyone that asked that question the same way... "YOU KNOW MY MOM!" Being "Mormon" in the south raises a ton of questions for people about "those guys in the white shirts" "they must get hot walking in that heat." I'd always reply with the same thing to that too. "They do get hot. If you could just offer them a drink of water I know it would make their day!" 

As I was deciding where to go to college I decided to go to Brigham Young University-Idaho. A private university where most of everything I learned was governed and approved by the First Presidency of the church. When I went there I realized there were tons of people just like me, and that there were many that weren't like me at all. My best friends from college weren't from highly populated Mormon areas. What I didn't realize is that my religion and who I was as a person would come into more question in Rexburg, Idaho than ever before in my life. I began to stand alone, but I noticed that as I stood in holy places that others would join me. That is how I received the friends I did. I'm not nearly perfect. In fact I saw this thing once that talked about being perfectly imperfect. That's how I feel I am. In every way for me to be perfect I am, but in the ways I'm not... it's okay!

Okay, so I got off subject a bit there. Let me fast forward to my after college days. I walked at graduation in December 2009. I then moved to Bountiful, Utah (to live with my parents) and began my student teaching experience. I taught kids who would talk about going to church on Sunday and kids who discussed how they beat up another kid. However, the different part for me was seeing how each student (or parent) treated another student (or parent). I suddenly began to realize a sad and unfortunate truth, and at church I began to notice myself judging others. I noticed the people I would spend my time with were gossiping about others, and I would join in. Soon, I decided to attend my parents ward. Where I was put into primary and found love by being with the children of the Lord. I realized that everyone in naturally good, and eventually I made the decision to go back to the singles ward. No doubt less than two years of me being back in the singles ward rumors began to spread about me and some of my best guy friends. To this day it is something that has bothered me because I honestly don't understand how good, loving people could do that to one another. 

Any dang ways, In the fall of 2012 I met someone who I had no idea would make such an impact on my life, and especially the way I see the world. This person became one of my closest friends and more importantly he is my mentor in almost everything (especially business). I'm not going to put his name in here, but I do want to put up somethings he tells me. 

One, question everything. It is our human nature to question things in life. That is the way God made us. We are to question so that way we can know. 

Two, love everyone. Here's the thing... Everyone in the world is fighting a battle you know ABSOLUTELY nothing about. Just by saying "Hi" you could make someone's day. 

Three (the most important), LOVE YOURSELF! Here's the thing... we are often told to "Love your neighbor as yourself" That can be a huge problem if you don't love yourself! I don't know how many people have come up to me within the last few months and asked me how I do it? How am I so happy all the time? How do I love myself? Well, it's because every day I wake up and say "I LOVE YOU!" I love who I am. I love all of my flaws. I love when I cry! I love when I feel! I love every little detail about who I am! 

This world gets filled up with media and hate! If we all just loved things would be so much better. 

I know I rambled a ton in this blog, but my entire point of it is to let everyone see that being LDS is what has shaped my life and who I am! THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST IS TRUE... THE PEOPLE IN IT ARE NOT PERFECT! 

I love you all! 

Thou art not yet as Job

As many know this past year has had its ups and downs for sure!
The end of December last year my Grandma Mayhoffer (Mom's step-mom) passed away. I always looked to her as a roll model. As this year has been a back and forth roller coaster to Colorado for me, I soon realized that my Dad's Sister would die of Breast Cancer. I must admit that this didn't come as much as a surprise for me, and over the past few months or since January I've learned how death is never the end. Well, as I have journeyed all over the west this year I must admit that I have really truly just wanted to be around immediate family or at "home" in Utah.
Yesterday, August 23, 2014 my Grandma Baron (Dad's mom) passed away. Now, I should just be devastated and heart broken by this like I was for my other Grandma, but I am not. Here is my rant as to why.
Honestly, I feel bad but I don't about what I am about to say. In 2005 I graduated from high school and about a month before mom got a phone call that Grandma Baron broke her foot, and would not be able to make it to my graduation. Now, I should be just totally fine with that, but I wasn't. Because she then used the voucher for that ticket to go somewhere else. Then, I went to college that fall at Brigham Young University-Idaho in Rexburg, Idaho. Which is about 30 minutes from Idaho Falls, Idaho where my grandmother lived. Well, it was okay for the most part, and I went to Idaho Falls maybe twice (I didn't have a car) and she came and visited me maybe once. Well, when I graduated from college I invited her to come see me walk since she couldn't come to my high school graduation. The excuse I got was that my uncle who was living with her was sick and couldn't drive her up. This was after my father had offered to go and get her! Yeah, I was pretty upset. However, the thing that topped the cake with a cherry for me was when I got endowed the following summer. I felt very strongly that I should go through the temple. I called my Grandmother who I felt was spiritually very strong and would understand. When I told her I had plans to go through the temple the first thing she asked me was "are you getting married?" I replied, "no." then I hear, "well, are you going on a mission?" I said, "no grandma. I feel very strongly I need to go through the temple." She then said, "well, that's very far and I don't think I'll make it." I will be 100% honest and say I was both heartbroken and livid. And then a couple years later she was able to come down for my brother's wedding. Yeah, this honestly broke my heart because it was at that point I realized how much I felt I didn't matter to my grandmother. I know it's absolutely awful of me to hold a grudge like this, and not be more forgiving. I loved my grandmother and it kinda sucks that she's gone, but in all reality I don't believe that death is the end. Because well, it isn't. I pray that she may be able to grow in the next life, and I pray that I may be able to forgive. I feel like forgiveness is key for our own salvation. It really doesn't help the others much... just helps ourselves.

Now, you might be wondering why I went on this rant and what Job might have to do with all of this. Well, I was reading the lesson for church Sunday School today, and there were just so many things that came to my mind. The lesson was on Job, and as you may know Job lost everything and was still 100% faithful to the Lord, and in turn the Lord gave him everything and then some back. Read Job! It's such an amazing book in the Bible!  Also, it would benefit you to read Doctrine & Covenants 121. If you don't have that book just go here: D&C:121

Then, I came across a few quotes that just hit me like a ton of bricks!
Elder Wirthlin suggested: “Perhaps members of the Church could emulate the example
of these hardy, sturdy plants. We should send our roots deep into the soil of the
gospel. We should grow, flourish, flower, and bear good fruit in abundance despite the
evil, temptation, or criticism we might encounter. We should learn to thrive in the heat
of adversity”

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin defined integrity as “always doing what is right and good,
regardless of the immediate consequences. It means being righteous from the very
depth of our soul, not only in our actions but, more important, in our thoughts and in
our hearts. Personal integrity implies such trustworthiness and incorruptibility that we
are incapable of being false to a trust or covenant”

Elder Orson F. Whitney said: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is
wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience,
faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when
we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls,
and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of
God ... and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the
education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father
and Mother in heaven.

The Prophet Joseph Smith said: “I am like a huge, rough stone rolling down from a high
mountain; and the only polishing I get is when some corner gets rubbed off by coming
in contact with something else, ... knocking off a corner here and a corner there. Thus I
will become a smooth and polished shaft in the quiver of the Almighty”

So, moral of my rant and vent? Well, be thankful for all that you have. Forgive everyone. Love everyone. Because well... it's true... you aren't like Job, and he lost everything! So... you have no reason to complain.
You can, but truth be told in the end all it is would be complaining. :)