Striving for Success...

So, as this semester comes to a close I have many projects to get done... each time I finish a great task I feel overwhelmed with joy. And the past two days I have gotten even happier even though I am still a little stressed. Yesterday, I came home from class and sitting on the table on top of some of my books was a letter from Toulouse, France! Oh how excited I was to hear from Jonathan! It truly made my day a success! Then, today when I got home I immediately checked my e-mail to see what was new... I saw that I had an e-mail and HALLELUJAH! I have been accepted for Fast Grad! It truly made my day better, and then about an hour ago I finished my Literature File that is due tomorrow! I have truly had loads of success! :D 1 more week, and lots more to do! I have so much due within the next week and it's crazy, but I'm way excited for it to all just end! :D I'm ready to go home to Louisiana for the last time and then just be with my family! Oh how I love them... I can't wait to see some of my old friends. I'm just overjoyed right now! I'm even excited to help my mom finish painting the house! I've truly been able to see these last fews weeks that even when hard times are upon us joy can be seen at the end of the tunnel. I'm truly grateful right now to have an amazing friend serving a mission in Toulouse! I love getting his letters... even if they are in French. It's amazing how much a mission can change someone! I hope that times just keep getting better... I still have loads to do, but at least it's almost finished and their is an end in sight, and I can definately graduate within the next year! I love this life!

songs that I've been thinking of...

Artist: Alana Grace
Song: Black Roses Red



Can I ask you a question please
Promise you won't laugh at me
Honestly I'm standing here
Afraid I'll be betrayed.
As twisted as it seems, I only fear love when it's in my dreams
So let the morning light come in and let the darkness fade away
Chorus:
Can you turn my black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?

Drowning in my loneliness
How long must I hold my breath
So much emptiness inside I could fill the deepest sea
I reach to the sky as the moon looks on
One last year has come and gonne
It's time to let your love rain down on me

Can you turn my black roses red? (x3)
Cuz
I'm feelin like I'll blame it on love (x6)

Can you turn my black roses red? (x3)
Cuz I'm feelin like I'll blame in on love
I'm feeling like I'll blame it on love (until fades)

Once Upon A December

Dancing bears, Painted wings, Things I almost remember, And a song someone sings Once upon a December. Someone holds me safe and warm. Horses prance through a silver storm. Figures dancing gracefully Across my memory... Someone holds me safe and warm. Horses prance through a silver storm. Figures dancing gracefully Across my memory... Far away, long ago, Glowing dim as an ember, Things my heart Used to know, Things it yearns to remember... And a song Someone sings Once upon a December

Artist: Brooks Garth Song: She's Every Woman Album: Fresh Horses

She's sun and rain, she's fire and ice
A little crazy but it's nice
And when she gets mad, you best leave her alone
'Cause she'll rage just like a river
Then she'll beg you to forgive her
She's every woman that I've ever known

She's so New York and then L.A.
And every town along the way
She's every place that I've never been
She's makin love on rainy nights
She's a stroll through Christmas lights
And she's everything I want to do again

It needs no explanation
'Cause it all makes perfect sense
For when it comes down to temptation
She's on both sides of the fence

No it needs no explanation
'Cause it all makes perfect sense
When it comes down to temptation
She's on both sides of the fence

She's anything but typical
She's so unpredictable
Oh but even at her worst it ain't that bad
She's as real as real can be
And she's every fantasy
Lord she's every lover that I've ever had
And she's every lover that I've never had

Memories that will help me with teaching

So as many may already know this I am an Elementary Education major. This semester I had the opportunity to go into the schools, and have my first experience teaching young children. I was able to see how each child learns differently, and also adapt my teaching style to their specific needs. It was the experience of a life time, and I hope to have many more just like it. Many that are in my class would agree with me on how sad it is to not be going back to teach them for the rest of the semester. It seemed as though to me that children always have a strong desire to learn, and I truly missed being that energetic. I wondered at times how they could do it... always be so happy and energetic, but yet still be wired at night. Having a niece and 3 nephews I have been able to see children in learning opportunities for a little while. There are times I wonder why I am going into teaching if I know I have to continue learning, and the fact being that I really do get tired of it for a while, but then I remember that I see that little spark in each child's eye... when they finally understand a concept, or when they know how to spell/write their name. It makes them feel so special inside, and it makes you feel special as well... knowing that you do not need to congratulate them because they are doing it all on their own. Yesterday, was my final day to teach some of these special students until a method class or my practicum next year, and I truly saw how it is important to cater to each child's needs. I have truly enjoyed learning how to teach, and I am so happy to be in this career. I know that all these aspects that I am now learning and will continue to learn can help me to be a better teacher, but also I can see how it can help me to become an even better mother to my future children. I love my career, and truly I love my life even though I can see that there will continue to be stumbling blocks throughout my life!

recent thoughts...

so, lately life has just kinda gone splat on me... I'm not really sure how to explain it. It's like I can't seem to get things straight in my head at the moment... or anything for that matter. I mean I'm not sure what to do about life... except to currently stay in school, and finish that up. It's sad that lately the only thing I can constantly think about without wanting to murder someone is school. Of course I can think about other things, but then some stuff makes me sad, or what not. It stinks when you think you like someone, but then you are so unsure on that even. I went and saw Maid of Honor today, and it was good and all but seriously... why do guys not see things sometimes until it's too late. I had a dream about one of my friends who tells me he is going to break up with his girlfriend, and I'm like why do I care. Then in this dream he tells me that he wants to date me, and all I could say to that was I'm sorry, but I can't. It just doesn't make sense. I've gone over it so many times in my head. I mean... why?! Why did this happen or why did that happen? It's seriously confusing, and then I got so mad at this one person for the longest time, and one day he e-mails me and asks me if I would write to him... I was so confused, but at the same time I thought to myself that maybe it is time to forgive him. So, I started to write him, and in some ways I've started to crush on him, but it just confuses me so because I'm trying so hard not to get hurt. I wish I could just fall asleep on the phone with Jonathan at times, but I can't because he right now is doing the greatest thing that he could ever do, and that is serving a mission for our Heavenly Father... I know I can keep in touch with him by writing him, and I dunno... maybe I'm just thinking about him a ton cause his birthday is coming up... Who knows... Oh My Gosh... I just realized something... Today as in 21 not the 22... was my Grandpa's 83 Birthday. It's still hard to believe that he died in March. My parents 30th Anniversary is on Monday. So much is going on this next week... sigh! I really don't know how to see life at the moment. I have so many thoughts at the current moment. I'm sick of so many things, and I just don't know where to begin... maybe I'll just crawl into my book and get away from it all... I need to type up summaries at some point for Children's Lit. Well, I guess that's all for now... I'm going to get lost in my favorite book! SUMMER OF MY GERMAN SOLDIER!

Burning out

I think I'm starting to realize how much I really do need to pace myself because I'm getting burned out! I am doing homework 42/7 either that, or I'm in class... yeah... it's killing me! I'm trying to survive, but it's so hard right now! AHH! HELP!!!!